


It's Gay™

by D_0keshi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bloodplay, Breathplay, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Verbal Humiliation, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8929117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_0keshi/pseuds/D_0keshi
Summary: Deidara really hadn’t been planning for this. And he could be a man of strategy if he wanted to. But even when they were already walking and heading after their designated target he couldn’t wrap his head around the situation. Probably because he was too damn pissed off. Leader had torn both of them rather unwillingly away from their regular partners and vaguely briefed them on the mission they were to complete for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven written a fanfiction in a really long time oh boy.  
> This was gonna be a one shot but I got really carried away so here have this
> 
> I did change some things in canon just for the sake of the story, but they're pretty minor.  
> Deidan is my OTP and I just wanna give it some love aight.
> 
> Hope you enjoy c:
> 
> UPDATE: Lol I forgot to put this here b u t @Lesbi_Lovers suggested the the name to me. Cheers man <3.

Follow transporting team of mist ninja to safe/cave/whatever the hell.  
Wipe them out once they reach their destination.  
Steal scrolls.  
Avoid getting booby-trapped.  
Return scrolls to leader.

For some reason he thought they'd be an appropriate team for the job. 

Roughly an hour into their snail's-pace pursuit of the “transport team” the blonde became very familiar with the burning desire to pound away his head ache against a wall. It was thanks to his temporary partner of sorts, that he had been enlightened with this privilege. Because BOY, did he talk a lot. Mostly religious rambling, some just rambling. All of it pointless and horse shit to the younger Akatsuki. His blue eyes were trained on his sandals, which made him kind of disoriented with his surroundings which was actually probably not the best idea since he couldn’t trust Hidan to be aware of his surroundings. The man took everything so lightly, being immortal and all. It bothered Deidara. How he hadn’t gotten himself into trouble yet was a wonder to him, actually.

His obnoxious voice cuts through his monologue like one of his shiny black blades. 

“Hey! Are you even listening?”

Hidan was clearly irritated, not to the Akatsuki’s surprise. He was emotionally volatile, easily offended and lacking all forms of self control. He doesn’t even wait for the others response, turning his head away and waving his hand nonchalantly.

“Guess not, which is funny cause I thought that was the whole fuckin point a this. Am I wrong, Deidara-san?”

 

The nickname was like a hot iron pressed to his skin, causing Deidara to actually look pained. The way the bastard drew out his name and even added the last part was infuriating. Hidan never said that, he had virtually no respect for anyone, not even the Leader. This didn’t necessarily go unpunished but the guy can’t die anyway and he probably gets off on being punched in the face so that doesn’t leave any fun options.  
The mocking polite facade he had the nerve to pull out of his ass at a time like this was enough to make him almost lose his nerve. But he instead inhaled sharply and shot him a warning glare. Most of his face was covered by the collar of the distinctive black cloak with red and white clouds, while his forehead and even some of his eyes were covered by his hat. The little white strings dangling from it made his features hard to distinguish too, but Hidan seemed to get the memo. And then, he pressed on.  
Deidara had never felt such strong sympathy for anyone like he did for Kakuzu at this moment. How did he put up with this.

“Eh? Got nothing to say all of a sudden? Aren’t you always carping on and on about your goddamn art?”

Well, there goes any tolerance the young man had been clinging to for the sake of the mission. He ground his teeth together for a moment, simply looking up at the other and giving him a long angry stare. Hidan looked taken aback, which he fucking should be. 

“Well I guess its selective carping then, yeah?”

Deidara yelled, and then flinched at the volume of his own reply. That could risk giving away their location to the transport team they were tracking.  
Maybe he was more like Hidan then he initially thought. He really hoped he was wrong. While he was inwardly scolding himself, Hidan was staring at him blankly with those jarring purple eyes of his, his mouth in the shape of an ‘o’. When he finally said something it was even more maddening than his previous statement.

“...huh.”

Right, he forgot how stupid this guy was. Deidara relaxed his features and his shoulders slumped ever so slightly. He took the time to look around while he spoke.

They were still in a canyon type area, but he could see a forest coming up just ahead. A clear pathway stretched on ahead of them for a good distance before it was up to them to find the mist ninja. There was a light breeze, so the Akatsuki removed his hat and held it in one hand while his other chewed away at clay. How he can chew things with his hands is quite straight forward really. Mouths. He had mouths on his hands. Every member of the Akatsuki tended to have a freaky ability. This was it for Deidara, he supposed. For his pal Hidan here, it was immortality. Kakuzu had five hearts and could use his body parts as weapons of sorts. Itachi had some freaky ass Sharingan that could play mind tricks on you. Deidara would know. It was the whole reason he was here to begin with. Sasori was a puppet, so on so on.

“I’m saying that I choose carefully who I share my art with, yeah?” 

Hidan scoffed. At least he understood that. Kudos to him. 

\---

The rest of the day seemed to drag by, it was difficult to see where they were going in the middle of such a thick cluster of trees. Not that Deidara was complaining. This gave him the chance to fly ahead, scout a little, and most importantly have some alone time. It was stupid to think about really, sounded so trivial. Maybe it was. Maybe he wasn’t as tolerant as he thought. But it wasn’t completely his fault, even now he could hear Hidan yelling up at him from behind, making pointless statements. His commentary was childish, to say the least, and HE was the youngest member of Akatsuki. Figures.  
Deidara was practically itching to blow something to bits. 

He would’ve prefered a less long distance mission. Both of them would’ve, probably. Hidan didn’t seem like the type to be patient. All he seemed to care about was slicing things to ribbons for his dear lord Jashin. He had to blow strands of hair away from his face mid-monologue since the wind was picking up. Not to mention each flap of his clay birds large wings brought a gust towards him one way or another. His lips curled as his eyes traveled downwards. A clearing had opened up in the middle of the forest. Almost straight away upon seeing it he materialized a dozen clay spiders, his frown quickly transforming into a grin. Each spider had angular legs and were covered in dimples supposedly forming a pattern of sorts. They crawled down the length of his hand, which he dangled at his side limply. If he dawdled any longer he’d miss it. With a wave of his arm each spider hurtled towards the ground, waving their legs aimlessly.  
When they were in range he lifted his hand and bellowed his trademark command.

“Katsu!”

There was a bang, a loud thundering noise in his ears and red, brown and everything in between filling his vision. It was extremely satisfying. Up until the point when he heard the unmistakable shout of his fellow Akatsuki. Oops. He halted the bird and it flapped in one spot while the blonde tried to make out Hidan's figure through the smoke gradually rising skywards and fading into the darkening atmosphere. 

That wasn't a very strategically intelligent move, now that he thought about it. But it's not like he had time to think all that often.  
Worst case scenario, his carelessness gives away their location, and even then he doubted anybody would bother investigating. If they did, he could go all out. So in other words, no worst case scenario. Except maybe the fact he just burned Hidan and he probably wouldn't be too thrilled about it. Deidara faltered a moment longer before crouching down. The bird swooped towards the ground and he hopped off before it landed. Once his feet met the scorched grass, it disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Hidan was glowering at him incredulously, one hand outstretched while the other grasped his shoulder. Even from a distance he could see the damage. Almost felt bad, really. 

Patches of skin were bumpy and an angry red, visibly flaky. Deidara admitted he probably took his immortality as a green light to just do whatever he pleased. Somehow Hidan had picked up on that and didn't look happy about it at all. One side of his cloak was completely gone, torn off. What a mess.

"What the fuck was that about?! That really fuckin' hurt ya know! Do you have any consideration for other peoples pain you goddamn moron!"

Deidara blinked and shifted his gaze to the embers of fire left to sizzle in the remaining grass, mildly fascinated by the cycle of cause and effect. And then he rather vehemently replied to the taller one's babbling. 

"Calm down will you? It's not like I was tryina blow you up!" 

Hidan squinted, biting at his bottom lip. For a while it looked like he might say something. Instead he grunted and looked up at the sky, past the traces of smoke remaining.The sun was going down. Deidara knew what he was thinking. 

"You don't need sleep do you?"

He made a noise akin to a hiss and whipped his head back to face the other.

"Of course not idiot."

Hidan fell silent for a moment. He seemed to be inspecting Deidara. Like he was some grotesque science experiment. It irked Deidara more then it should. Not necessarily the way he was looking at him, but just the fact he was...looking at him. especially for this long. He shifted his weight from one foot to another. Hidan looked uneasy.

"..sometimes."

The way he said it implied it happened more then "sometimes".  
Deidara huffed and leaned against a tree trunk, getting soot all over the cloak. Oh well. He slid down till he was sitting with his knees to his chest and gave Hidan an expectant look. Soon enough, he joined him on the ground and placed his scythe in his lap similar to the way a mother might hold her child.  
For what felt like a lifetime neither of them said a word or even made a single noise. The only noise Deidara could hear was the sound of his own rhythmic breathing and the leaves rustling against each other as they were tousled by wind. Finally, the asshole opened his mouth again.

"Are you gonna start a fire or what, I'm freezing my nads off here." 

Hidan sounded dead serious, too. Better save his poor nads. The Akatsuki rolled his eyes as hard as humanly possible and pulled a small ball of clay from his bag. Very small. In fact, so small it would be more of a weak fizzle then an actual explosion. But it was enough to keep them both warm. Which was what he was aiming for, even if he didn't see the harm in burning Hidan a little more. As Deidara was deciding on which form this mini-bomb should take, the immortal decided now was a great time to complain about Deidara to Deidara. Nope. Hidan was not a polite man.

"Man. I don't see why I had to be paired up with YOU just for this. I coulda pulled this off with the same results if I'd stuck with Kakuzu. And even if it was so fuckin' necessary for me to do this with some other person, it strikes me as odd he thought you were the best candidate." 

Deidara clenched his fist around the clay bomb and scrunched up his nose.

"Shut the hell up, yeah?"

Now that he'd mixed the clay with some of his chakra, he threw it onto the clearing. He'd decided on something a little different this time. That was to say, this bomb took the form of a Phoenix. Y'know. Fire. He never failed to impress himself with his artistic ability. Hidan for once had actually listened to someone and was so silent he may as well not of been there. Deidara's voice was hanging somewhere between quiet and loud. There was no in between when it came to this.

"Katsu!"

It burst into flames, which caught onto what was left of the grass and made a averagely sized fire. Hidan made himself useful and snapped off a thick branch to create a barrier of sorts around said fire which consisted purely of twigs and all that carry-on. 

Deidara instinctively looked at Hidan when he sensed movement. He'd leaned forward a bit, no longer holding the ugly burn mark on his shoulder. Deidara frowned. Now that they were on the ground and relatively warm, he could really go for a nap. More awkward silence followed. Maybe not awkward. Hidan looked pretty comfortable with it, which strikes Deidara as odd. But he didn't complain. In fact, it was pretty nice. Weird as it was. He looked away again, his pupils adjusting their size to the light the fire provided.

"We don't really have that much time to sleep, huh."

All of a sudden the older Akatsuki was speaking in a low gentle voice. This was even weirder to Deidara then the whole silence thing. He assumed he was just tired. Apparently immortality doesn't solve everything. He simply shrugged his shoulders in response.

"It's not like you even need that much sleep, yeah." Now his voice was significantly quieter, too. 

Hidan simpered and muttered something along the lines of "something a smart ass something something". If they'd exchanged any other words Deidara didn't recall. He fell asleep.

\---

The next day he woke up with a jolt to the feeling of something slick and wet on his face. This was accompanied with an unpleasant stinging sensation. Hidan had slapped him awake. He was also covered practically head to toe in some poor souls blood. Deidara made a startled choking sound and recoiled, eyes wide like bowls.

"Get the fuck away from me with that shit, yeah!"

Hidan tilted his head back and let go a ghastly laugh. Deidara didn't find this funny in any shape or form. 

"What's so funny,yeah?"

The former mist ninja smiled in the way you might smile to a naive idiotic child. Which Deidara most certainly was not. He secured his scythe on his back and pivoted on his heel, already heading off on his merry way across the clearing. Deidara hastily readjusted his cloak, placed his hat over his head, and jumped to his feet, jogging up to Hidan's side. He was back to being a pain in the ass, it seemed. Pity. The blonde aggressively wiped the blood from his face with his sleeve while Hidan hummed to himself in his own morbid little dream world. Deidara fixed him with a skeptical stare.

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

Hidan was busy putting on his own hat. He tilted it down so all Deidara could see was the others mouth, since all his other features had a shadow cast over them. He was smiling. That was for sure.

"Maybe a little? Can't remember." He replied in the most casual sense possible.

Deidara was rigid with an odd mix of frustration, confusion and shock.

"You left me on my own, yeah?"

Hidan actually tilted the hat back up for a second just to give him a weird look and quirk his eyebrow. As if to say "Yeah, and"? Deidara hissed through his teeth. Was this asshole for real.

"What if something happened!"

The man pushed his hat back down and cracked his neck, as if calmly stating that he'd left his partner to possibly DIE overnight was an everyday ritual. 

"You lot worry too much. Nothing even happened. And anyway, I needed to offer sacrifices to Jashin-sama."

Deidara folded his arms across his chest and glared daggers at him, mostly because Hidan was blatantly ignoring the fact he was glaring. It was a paradox, really.

"I can see why Leader hauled your ass here, yeah! All you care about is your stupid religion, yeah!"

Hidan abruptly stopped walking, letting his hand leave the rim of his hat and fall to his side. Deidara turned to look at him, a little confused, but also concerned. Mostly concerned. Pretty fucking anxious actually.

"..Hidan." His voice wobbled a little and he quickly adjusted it, never once tearing his eyes away from his partner.

"Whats that supposed to mean?" Hidan cocked his head, looking confused.

Deidara knew it was anger disguised as confusion. Which only made him more anxious. Everybody knew how Hidan was. Jashinism was a sensitive topic, to put it lightly.

"uh, what?" Deidara croaked stupidly. 

As if he didn't understand what he was talking about. He reached into his bag and held a clump of clay. Blowing your partner to bits probably wasn't a good idea. Leader wouldn't be all that pleased. And it would give Hidan all the more reason to tear the blonde to shreds. But fuck if the guy NEEDED a reason.

"The FUCK do you mean by stupid you idiotic heathen." Hidan replied almost fast enough to actually cut the guy off, narrowing his eyes.

Deidara huffed through his nose and forced himself to relax. He slipped his hand out of the bag and looked at the other Akatsuki square. He wasn't allowed to kill other members, it was a rule. He'd try not to let it get to that. Hidan had several inches on him, and just to immobilize him would take a fuck ton of effort. The only smart option here was to suck up his pride and try and soften him up a little.

"I didn't mean it, yeah. Slip of the tongue." He drawled dismissively. 

"Don't give me that shit, blondie. I know an ignorant a-" His sentence was cut short by a loud raspy cough.

For a split second Deidara was rooted in place, mouth agape. Hidan was frozen mid angry- finger-point. This was probably because someone had just stabbed him through the gut with what seemed to be a wooden plank. The Akatsuki's stomach churned at the spray of blood that splattered against basically everything in Hidan's vicinity, not to mention the unsettling noises that were freeing themselves unwillingly from his mouth.

Partly because of the obvious danger they were in and partly because he needed to tear his eyes away from the scene, Deidara took several flips backwards and promptly materialized his clay bird. He threw the smaller version onto the ground, where it grew to a more appropriate size.  
Whoever had used the wood style jutsu to impale Hidan had now withdrawn it. After completing his dramatic fit he swung out his scythe and rolled his head back. The ninja was still close enough to get sliced in two with a few steps, and by the alarmed noise he made, probably knew it too. He moved carelessly like a puppet without strings in an attempt to move past his surprise and get away. However. Though Hidan lacked...intelligence, he made up for it quite significantly in agility. Poor guy didn't stand a chance. There was a blur of red and grey, the whoosh of metal against air, and then the unmistakable spout of liquid on the ground. 

There were quite a few of them. Two women standing next to the tree line, and and three men who were just emerging now. Excluding the one Hidan had just mortally wounded. It wasn't like Deidara was paying all that much attention to their attire, but by the looks of it, they were mist ninja. Despite the wood style one of them had just used. The others had reacted pretty intuitively to their comrades death and had distanced themselves from Hidan. The confusion that followed Hidan's injury gave Deidara time to be up in the air before they actually took notice of his action.

The implication of this situation was that here before them, was the very team they were supposed to be following. The ones that were meant to be quite far ahead. And now the mission was as good as fucked. Without someone to lead them how were they supposed to locate the scrolls? The blonde flinched, reaching into his bag. He'd observe for a moment longer.

"Huuuuh! How insolent can you assholes get?! That REALLY fuckin' hurts dammit!" Hidan glared for a second before he looked down and the writhing body of his victim. 

His lips twisted into a broad callous smile and he lifted his foot to press it against his throat, prompting out an extra flow of blood from the ninja's mouth. He gagged and something flashed in Hidan's eyes. Three of them reacted with aggression, while the other two simply stared idiotically. One of them even looked at Deidara, their eyes widening even more. Hidan didn't dodge the shuriken that was hurled in his direction, even if one of them missed. Two landed securely in his forearm and the rest all over his body. This only enraged him more. This was the cycle, it usually took some time to figure out that he was immortal. Hard to watch, really. Which is why Deidara ceased his dawdling and got to business.

"Water style! Raging waves!" 

The first women, with dark hair tied into a high ponytail, tilted her head back. A rush of water exploded from her mouth and rushed in Hidan's direction. He made a loud frustrated yell and leaped into a run. What he didn't expect was for the water to follow him. But it did. Meanwhile, one of the men with his village headband tied around his shoulder had his sights set on Deidara.  
Hidan jumped onto the side of a thick tree trunk and used it as leverage to launch himself at the ninja casting the jutsu, swinging his weapon freely. She narrowly avoided him, but this brought the flow of water from her mouth to an abrupt stop.

What the male ninja said was unclear to Deidara, but it sent a condensed ball of water speeding towards him, and it narrowly grazed past him. It was alarmingly powerful, sending his cloak and hair flailing due to the wind it churned up. He could see the man was preparing to launch another, kneading chakra. He seemed to be building it up. Now was his chance. He didn't try so much to integrate his art into these bombs, all he wanted to do at the moment was blow someone into oblivion. His bird began circling the clearing and he aimlessly threw the bombs as he went, blind to the fact his partner was down there, too. So much for teamwork. Another ball of water flew from the bastards mouth before Deidara could detonate them. This time, just the wind that came with it sent him spiraling for a good while, completely vulnerable. He could hear Hidan yelling incoherently below, but that was about the only thing could make out before he steadied the bird.  
He ground his teeth together and raised his hand, smiling wryly. 

"KATSU!"

Even for Deidara, who was used to the deafening sound, his ears rang for a moment after the bombs stopped detonating. He didn't stop circling, narrowing his eyes to catch any critical movement. The smoke didn't show any sign of dying down soon. Bits of rock and earth were thrown outwards in every direction, some even reaching Deidara's altitude. The dark menacing clouds that rose to the sky weren't without the odd spark of flame. His eyes watered. Beautiful.  
There was slight movement before a figure threw themselves out of the plume of smoke, skidding to a halt by the tree line. A ting of relief stirred somewhere in Deidara, but it was hidden by irritation. He stopped spiraling and hovered in place, his eyes locking with Hidan's own.

"Hey!! What the fuck did I tell you about doing that!" He squawked.

He opened his mouth to give him a begrudgingly apologetic reply. Instead, his lips snapped shut.

"Look out." He said instead, in a lukewarm tone.

Hidan's boysenberry eyes wandered from Deidara to the dispersing pall before he jolted with sudden realization.

"Son of a dick!" He practically shrieked, doddering in place to try and free himself from the soup like liquid that had encompassed his legs. 

Deidara crouched down and entwined his fingers together, resting his chin on the back of his hands. He watched Hidan's inane attempt to free himself from the jutsu with what someone might mistake as an affectionate gaze. But it was shrouded by irony, disappointment, and maybe even amusement, really. His head whipped up and his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, he yelled to the point of his voice breaking. Deidara simpered.

"What the fresh hell are you staring at! Help me out! This is what you call team work?!"

He even attempted to slice through it with his scythe, but as he went to pull it up, his fingers slipped and grabbed at thin air. The weapon wavered before tilting to the side, stuck. Hidan dragged his hands through his hair, looking completely and utterly lost for words. Deidara was about to speak once more, but he spotted more movement. The smoke was dying off, so it was clear to see one ninja was still on their feet. It seemed the remaining others weren't dead, but for the time being would not be a liability.  
A man with spiky auburn hair stumbled into clear air, coughs and wheezes racking his body. One arm was mangled almost beyond recognition, bloodied and torn. Deidara's work. In the other he held a Tekko-Kagi. Hidan was obviously starting to get a little frantic. 

Deidara heaved a sigh.  
The bird swerved and then swooped towards the ground, he reached into his bag and for a while after that, everything seemed to move in slow motion. The bird nose-dived between Hidan and the other ninja. Both of which instinctively leaned away. As the bombs left his hand, the mist ninja lunged forward with his weapon. A sharp burst of pain struck Deidara's cheek at the point of impact and snaked all over his face like a line of midgets doing the conga on his face with spiked heels.  
He leaned away enough to avoid the blades going in too deep, but it hurt like a bitch nonetheless. Not to mention the fact this caused the clay bird to head straight for a tree trunk.

"Katsu!" Deidara yelled hurriedly before the breath was knocked out of him.

He slammed straight into the tree. The bird he'd been crouched on disappeared immediately and he fell to the ground, grunting. He'd wasn't usually so close to the bigger bombs he detonated, and this time he pressed his hands hard over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut to protect them from the shower of rock and dirt hurled his way. And even...blood.  
He only opened them when Hidan started whining about how stuck he was.  
The Akatsuki jumped to his feet, chafed at his inability to finish these guys off without getting out of it unscathed. He was better then this and he found no other alternative then to just blame it on Hidan. Who-as of now-was still struggling to get out of the goop and had managed to get one foot out of the puddle. 

"About time. Did you have a nice nap?" He leered.

His arms were straight out in either direction. He looked like a child playing hopscotch.  
Deidara scoffed loudly and stomped over, grabbing hold of Hidan's sleeve and giving him a yank. With a long unpleasant squelching sound, he was free of the jutsu. Hidan didn't speak for a short while before turning to face Deidara fully, the corner of his mouth twitching downwards.

"That's it? I thought you were better then that, kiddo. It's a wonder you're even fucking here in the first place." He sounded genuinely disappointed, mostly resentful, but Deidara heard it.

"That sure is a funny way of saying thanks, yeah!" And instead of leaving it at that the blonde gave him a light shove.

It was enough to make him stumble back a little, which really shouldn't be so bad, but everything was a big deal to him and his oversensitive little ego. Hidan's brows furrowed and he gritted his teeth. His scythe was wrenched out of the goop all at once, and Deidara flinched. Well fuck. His free hand found its way to Deidara's collar easily, where it turned into a fist around the fabric. He jerked him forward so that they were face to face. Deidara placed his palms flat against Hidan's chest. The only reaction he found himself willing to privilege the older Akatsuki with was an unpleasant sneer.  
Obviously, it got on Hidan's nerves. He pushed him a little and Deidara's face went slack. Hidan seemed appeased by this.  
His hard gaze softened around the edges and he almost smiled. But even if he had smiled, it wouldn't of been a nice smile. Deidara pouted. As if remembering he was supposed to be mad, he tightened his fist around the cloak once more, prompting a yelp of sorts from the other. Haaa.

"Listen. Just 'cause you got a pretty face doesn't mean you can get away with being a brat."

Deidara opened his mouth to snap out a response, but cut himself off when Hidan yanked the collar again. Telling him to shut up in his own stupid aggressive language. He understood it to an extent though.

"Just 'cause piercings says I can't do jack shit to any of you doesn't mean I won't. I don't take orders from anybody except Jashin-sama, got it?"

Deidara was far too careworn to argue at this point. He blinked and sighed very quietly. Barely audible, actually. More of a whisper then anything else.  
Either way, Hidan took it as a yes. NOW, he smiled. It was probably the most horrid excuse for a smile Deidara had ever been unfortunate enough to lay his eyes on. But lucky for him it was gone almost as fast as it had appeared on his face. Why, he had no idea. Hidan was still staring at him and he was beginning to feel rather self conscious. It showed, too. The best he could do was stare at him right back, even if it was giving him an alarming mix of feelings he did NOT want to inquire into. 

It was almost like being trapped in one of Itachi's Genjutsu. Dazed, a little surprised, tense and...confused? All at the same time.  
The only difference was Hidan did not possess the Sharingan nor was he capable of using Genjutsu to fuck with anyone's head. Except maybe his own. But that had nothing to do with it. And that made it worse than anything Itachi could come up with in the morbid confines of his jutsu.  
After what felt like an eternity of jarring silence with nothing to listen to but the escalating beat of Deidara's own heart, Hidan leant forward. Deidara's breathe hitched (quite loudly) in his throat which if anything encouraged Hidan to press close enough to probably bat him with his own fucking eyelash. And then he smirked and reached up with his thumb to smear the blood off the blonde's cheek. He let go, turned on his heel and swung his scythe over his shoulder, sauntering off. He kicked one of the corpses in a way that implied just doing so was a deigning act for someone like him.  
Asshole!

"Okay, spit it out, what the hell is your problem!" Deidara called after him, completely and utterly flustered and hating himself for it too.

Hidan threw his arms into the air like he was welcoming somebody. Even though he had his back turned to the only person present. As usual, unwilling to display even the slightest form of acknowledgement. 

"Dunno what you're talking about Deidara-san. But unless YOU have a problem we should really get to business, yeah?"

Again with the mocking bullshit. Deidara took a breath, let it out slowly, and started walking after him. The mission had just gotten a whole lot longer then it had to be.

\---


	2. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven written a fanfiction in a really long time oh boy.  
> This was gonna be a one shot but I got really carried away so here have this
> 
> I did change some things in canon just for the sake of the story, but they're pretty minor.  
> Deidan is my OTP and I just wanna give it some love aight.
> 
> Hope you enjoy c:
> 
> UPDATE: Lol I forgot to put this here b u t @Lesbi_Lovers suggested the the name to me. Cheers man <3.

Follow transporting team of mist ninja to safe/cave/whatever the hell.  
Wipe them out once they reach their destination.  
Steal scrolls.  
Avoid getting booby-trapped.  
Return scrolls to leader.

For some reason he thought they'd be an appropriate team for the job. 

Roughly an hour into their snail's-pace pursuit of the “transport team” the blonde became very familiar with the burning desire to pound away his head ache against a wall. It was thanks to his temporary partner of sorts, that he had been enlightened with this privilege. Because BOY, did he talk a lot. Mostly religious rambling, some just rambling. All of it pointless and horse shit to the younger Akatsuki. His blue eyes were trained on his sandals, which made him kind of disoriented with his surroundings which was actually probably not the best idea since he couldn’t trust Hidan to be aware of his surroundings. The man took everything so lightly, being immortal and all. It bothered Deidara. How he hadn’t gotten himself into trouble yet was a wonder to him, actually.

His obnoxious voice cuts through his monologue like one of his shiny black blades. 

“Hey! Are you even listening?”

Hidan was clearly irritated, not to the Akatsuki’s surprise. He was emotionally volatile, easily offended and lacking all forms of self control. He doesn’t even wait for the others response, turning his head away and waving his hand nonchalantly.

“Guess not, which is funny cause I thought that was the whole fuckin point a this. Am I wrong, Deidara-san?”

 

The nickname was like a hot iron pressed to his skin, causing Deidara to actually look pained. The way the bastard drew out his name and even added the last part was infuriating. Hidan never said that, he had virtually no respect for anyone, not even the Leader. This didn’t necessarily go unpunished but the guy can’t die anyway and he probably gets off on being punched in the face so that doesn’t leave any fun options.  
The mocking polite facade he had the nerve to pull out of his ass at a time like this was enough to make him almost lose his nerve. But he instead inhaled sharply and shot him a warning glare. Most of his face was covered by the collar of the distinctive black cloak with red and white clouds, while his forehead and even some of his eyes were covered by his hat. The little white strings dangling from it made his features hard to distinguish too, but Hidan seemed to get the memo. And then, he pressed on.  
Deidara had never felt such strong sympathy for anyone like he did for Kakuzu at this moment. How did he put up with this.

“Eh? Got nothing to say all of a sudden? Aren’t you always carping on and on about your goddamn art?”

Well, there goes any tolerance the young man had been clinging to for the sake of the mission. He ground his teeth together for a moment, simply looking up at the other and giving him a long angry stare. Hidan looked taken aback, which he fucking should be. 

“Well I guess its selective carping then, yeah?”

Deidara yelled, and then flinched at the volume of his own reply. That could risk giving away their location to the transport team they were tracking.  
Maybe he was more like Hidan then he initially thought. He really hoped he was wrong. While he was inwardly scolding himself, Hidan was staring at him blankly with those jarring purple eyes of his, his mouth in the shape of an ‘o’. When he finally said something it was even more maddening than his previous statement.

“...huh.”

Right, he forgot how stupid this guy was. Deidara relaxed his features and his shoulders slumped ever so slightly. He took the time to look around while he spoke.

They were still in a canyon type area, but he could see a forest coming up just ahead. A clear pathway stretched on ahead of them for a good distance before it was up to them to find the mist ninja. There was a light breeze, so the Akatsuki removed his hat and held it in one hand while his other chewed away at clay. How he can chew things with his hands is quite straight forward really. Mouths. He had mouths on his hands. Every member of the Akatsuki tended to have a freaky ability. This was it for Deidara, he supposed. For his pal Hidan here, it was immortality. Kakuzu had five hearts and could use his body parts as weapons of sorts. Itachi had some freaky ass Sharingan that could play mind tricks on you. Deidara would know. It was the whole reason he was here to begin with. Sasori was a puppet, so on so on.

“I’m saying that I choose carefully who I share my art with, yeah?” 

Hidan scoffed. At least he understood that. Kudos to him. 

\---

The rest of the day seemed to drag by, it was difficult to see where they were going in the middle of such a thick cluster of trees. Not that Deidara was complaining. This gave him the chance to fly ahead, scout a little, and most importantly have some alone time. It was stupid to think about really, sounded so trivial. Maybe it was. Maybe he wasn’t as tolerant as he thought. But it wasn’t completely his fault, even now he could hear Hidan yelling up at him from behind, making pointless statements. His commentary was childish, to say the least, and HE was the youngest member of Akatsuki. Figures.  
Deidara was practically itching to blow something to bits. 

He would’ve prefered a less long distance mission. Both of them would’ve, probably. Hidan didn’t seem like the type to be patient. All he seemed to care about was slicing things to ribbons for his dear lord Jashin. He had to blow strands of hair away from his face mid-monologue since the wind was picking up. Not to mention each flap of his clay birds large wings brought a gust towards him one way or another. His lips curled as his eyes traveled downwards. A clearing had opened up in the middle of the forest. Almost straight away upon seeing it he materialized a dozen clay spiders, his frown quickly transforming into a grin. Each spider had angular legs and were covered in dimples supposedly forming a pattern of sorts. They crawled down the length of his hand, which he dangled at his side limply. If he dawdled any longer he’d miss it. With a wave of his arm each spider hurtled towards the ground, waving their legs aimlessly.  
When they were in range he lifted his hand and bellowed his trademark command.

“Katsu!”

There was a bang, a loud thundering noise in his ears and red, brown and everything in between filling his vision. It was extremely satisfying. Up until the point when he heard the unmistakable shout of his fellow Akatsuki. Oops. He halted the bird and it flapped in one spot while the blonde tried to make out Hidan's figure through the smoke gradually rising skywards and fading into the darkening atmosphere. 

That wasn't a very strategically intelligent move, now that he thought about it. But it's not like he had time to think all that often.  
Worst case scenario, his carelessness gives away their location, and even then he doubted anybody would bother investigating. If they did, he could go all out. So in other words, no worst case scenario. Except maybe the fact he just burned Hidan and he probably wouldn't be too thrilled about it. Deidara faltered a moment longer before crouching down. The bird swooped towards the ground and he hopped off before it landed. Once his feet met the scorched grass, it disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Hidan was glowering at him incredulously, one hand outstretched while the other grasped his shoulder. Even from a distance he could see the damage. Almost felt bad, really. 

Patches of skin were bumpy and an angry red, visibly flaky. Deidara admitted he probably took his immortality as a green light to just do whatever he pleased. Somehow Hidan had picked up on that and didn't look happy about it at all. One side of his cloak was completely gone, torn off. What a mess.

"What the fuck was that about?! That really fuckin' hurt ya know! Do you have any consideration for other peoples pain you goddamn moron!"

Deidara blinked and shifted his gaze to the embers of fire left to sizzle in the remaining grass, mildly fascinated by the cycle of cause and effect. And then he rather vehemently replied to the taller one's babbling. 

"Calm down will you? It's not like I was tryina blow you up!" 

Hidan squinted, biting at his bottom lip. For a while it looked like he might say something. Instead he grunted and looked up at the sky, past the traces of smoke remaining.The sun was going down. Deidara knew what he was thinking. 

"You don't need sleep do you?"

He made a noise akin to a hiss and whipped his head back to face the other.

"Of course not idiot."

Hidan fell silent for a moment. He seemed to be inspecting Deidara. Like he was some grotesque science experiment. It irked Deidara more then it should. Not necessarily the way he was looking at him, but just the fact he was...looking at him. especially for this long. He shifted his weight from one foot to another. Hidan looked uneasy.

"..sometimes."

The way he said it implied it happened more then "sometimes".  
Deidara huffed and leaned against a tree trunk, getting soot all over the cloak. Oh well. He slid down till he was sitting with his knees to his chest and gave Hidan an expectant look. Soon enough, he joined him on the ground and placed his scythe in his lap similar to the way a mother might hold her child.  
For what felt like a lifetime neither of them said a word or even made a single noise. The only noise Deidara could hear was the sound of his own rhythmic breathing and the leaves rustling against each other as they were tousled by wind. Finally, the asshole opened his mouth again.

"Are you gonna start a fire or what, I'm freezing my nads off here." 

Hidan sounded dead serious, too. Better save his poor nads. The Akatsuki rolled his eyes as hard as humanly possible and pulled a small ball of clay from his bag. Very small. In fact, so small it would be more of a weak fizzle then an actual explosion. But it was enough to keep them both warm. Which was what he was aiming for, even if he didn't see the harm in burning Hidan a little more. As Deidara was deciding on which form this mini-bomb should take, the immortal decided now was a great time to complain about Deidara to Deidara. Nope. Hidan was not a polite man.

"Man. I don't see why I had to be paired up with YOU just for this. I coulda pulled this off with the same results if I'd stuck with Kakuzu. And even if it was so fuckin' necessary for me to do this with some other person, it strikes me as odd he thought you were the best candidate." 

Deidara clenched his fist around the clay bomb and scrunched up his nose.

"Shut the hell up, yeah?"

Now that he'd mixed the clay with some of his chakra, he threw it onto the clearing. He'd decided on something a little different this time. That was to say, this bomb took the form of a Phoenix. Y'know. Fire. He never failed to impress himself with his artistic ability. Hidan for once had actually listened to someone and was so silent he may as well not of been there. Deidara's voice was hanging somewhere between quiet and loud. There was no in between when it came to this.

"Katsu!"

It burst into flames, which caught onto what was left of the grass and made a averagely sized fire. Hidan made himself useful and snapped off a thick branch to create a barrier of sorts around said fire which consisted purely of twigs and all that carry-on. 

Deidara instinctively looked at Hidan when he sensed movement. He'd leaned forward a bit, no longer holding the ugly burn mark on his shoulder. Deidara frowned. Now that they were on the ground and relatively warm, he could really go for a nap. More awkward silence followed. Maybe not awkward. Hidan looked pretty comfortable with it, which strikes Deidara as odd. But he didn't complain. In fact, it was pretty nice. Weird as it was. He looked away again, his pupils adjusting their size to the light the fire provided.

"We don't really have that much time to sleep, huh."

All of a sudden the older Akatsuki was speaking in a low gentle voice. This was even weirder to Deidara then the whole silence thing. He assumed he was just tired. Apparently immortality doesn't solve everything. He simply shrugged his shoulders in response.

"It's not like you even need that much sleep, yeah." Now his voice was significantly quieter, too. 

Hidan simpered and muttered something along the lines of "something a smart ass something something". If they'd exchanged any other words Deidara didn't recall. He fell asleep.

\---

The next day he woke up with a jolt to the feeling of something slick and wet on his face. This was accompanied with an unpleasant stinging sensation. Hidan had slapped him awake. He was also covered practically head to toe in some poor souls blood. Deidara made a startled choking sound and recoiled, eyes wide like bowls.

"Get the fuck away from me with that shit, yeah!"

Hidan tilted his head back and let go a ghastly laugh. Deidara didn't find this funny in any shape or form. 

"What's so funny,yeah?"

The former mist ninja smiled in the way you might smile to a naive idiotic child. Which Deidara most certainly was not. He secured his scythe on his back and pivoted on his heel, already heading off on his merry way across the clearing. Deidara hastily readjusted his cloak, placed his hat over his head, and jumped to his feet, jogging up to Hidan's side. He was back to being a pain in the ass, it seemed. Pity. The blonde aggressively wiped the blood from his face with his sleeve while Hidan hummed to himself in his own morbid little dream world. Deidara fixed him with a skeptical stare.

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

Hidan was busy putting on his own hat. He tilted it down so all Deidara could see was the others mouth, since all his other features had a shadow cast over them. He was smiling. That was for sure.

"Maybe a little? Can't remember." He replied in the most casual sense possible.

Deidara was rigid with an odd mix of frustration, confusion and shock.

"You left me on my own, yeah?"

Hidan actually tilted the hat back up for a second just to give him a weird look and quirk his eyebrow. As if to say "Yeah, and"? Deidara hissed through his teeth. Was this asshole for real.

"What if something happened!"

The man pushed his hat back down and cracked his neck, as if calmly stating that he'd left his partner to possibly DIE overnight was an everyday ritual. 

"You lot worry too much. Nothing even happened. And anyway, I needed to offer sacrifices to Jashin-sama."

Deidara folded his arms across his chest and glared daggers at him, mostly because Hidan was blatantly ignoring the fact he was glaring. It was a paradox, really.

"I can see why Leader hauled your ass here, yeah! All you care about is your stupid religion, yeah!"

Hidan abruptly stopped walking, letting his hand leave the rim of his hat and fall to his side. Deidara turned to look at him, a little confused, but also concerned. Mostly concerned. Pretty fucking anxious actually.

"..Hidan." His voice wobbled a little and he quickly adjusted it, never once tearing his eyes away from his partner.

"Whats that supposed to mean?" Hidan cocked his head, looking confused.

Deidara knew it was anger disguised as confusion. Which only made him more anxious. Everybody knew how Hidan was. Jashinism was a sensitive topic, to put it lightly.

"uh, what?" Deidara croaked stupidly. 

As if he didn't understand what he was talking about. He reached into his bag and held a clump of clay. Blowing your partner to bits probably wasn't a good idea. Leader wouldn't be all that pleased. And it would give Hidan all the more reason to tear the blonde to shreds. But fuck if the guy NEEDED a reason.

"The FUCK do you mean by stupid you idiotic heathen." Hidan replied almost fast enough to actually cut the guy off, narrowing his eyes.

Deidara huffed through his nose and forced himself to relax. He slipped his hand out of the bag and looked at the other Akatsuki square. He wasn't allowed to kill other members, it was a rule. He'd try not to let it get to that. Hidan had several inches on him, and just to immobilize him would take a fuck ton of effort. The only smart option here was to suck up his pride and try and soften him up a little.

"I didn't mean it, yeah. Slip of the tongue." He drawled dismissively. 

"Don't give me that shit, blondie. I know an ignorant a-" His sentence was cut short by a loud raspy cough.

For a split second Deidara was rooted in place, mouth agape. Hidan was frozen mid angry- finger-point. This was probably because someone had just stabbed him through the gut with what seemed to be a wooden plank. The Akatsuki's stomach churned at the spray of blood that splattered against basically everything in Hidan's vicinity, not to mention the unsettling noises that were freeing themselves unwillingly from his mouth.

Partly because of the obvious danger they were in and partly because he needed to tear his eyes away from the scene, Deidara took several flips backwards and promptly materialized his clay bird. He threw the smaller version onto the ground, where it grew to a more appropriate size.  
Whoever had used the wood style jutsu to impale Hidan had now withdrawn it. After completing his dramatic fit he swung out his scythe and rolled his head back. The ninja was still close enough to get sliced in two with a few steps, and by the alarmed noise he made, probably knew it too. He moved carelessly like a puppet without strings in an attempt to move past his surprise and get away. However. Though Hidan lacked...intelligence, he made up for it quite significantly in agility. Poor guy didn't stand a chance. There was a blur of red and grey, the whoosh of metal against air, and then the unmistakable spout of liquid on the ground. 

There were quite a few of them. Two women standing next to the tree line, and and three men who were just emerging now. Excluding the one Hidan had just mortally wounded. It wasn't like Deidara was paying all that much attention to their attire, but by the looks of it, they were mist ninja. Despite the wood style one of them had just used. The others had reacted pretty intuitively to their comrades death and had distanced themselves from Hidan. The confusion that followed Hidan's injury gave Deidara time to be up in the air before they actually took notice of his action.

The implication of this situation was that here before them, was the very team they were supposed to be following. The ones that were meant to be quite far ahead. And now the mission was as good as fucked. Without someone to lead them how were they supposed to locate the scrolls? The blonde flinched, reaching into his bag. He'd observe for a moment longer.

"Huuuuh! How insolent can you assholes get?! That REALLY fuckin' hurts dammit!" Hidan glared for a second before he looked down and the writhing body of his victim. 

His lips twisted into a broad callous smile and he lifted his foot to press it against his throat, prompting out an extra flow of blood from the ninja's mouth. He gagged and something flashed in Hidan's eyes. Three of them reacted with aggression, while the other two simply stared idiotically. One of them even looked at Deidara, their eyes widening even more. Hidan didn't dodge the shuriken that was hurled in his direction, even if one of them missed. Two landed securely in his forearm and the rest all over his body. This only enraged him more. This was the cycle, it usually took some time to figure out that he was immortal. Hard to watch, really. Which is why Deidara ceased his dawdling and got to business.

"Water style! Raging waves!" 

The first women, with dark hair tied into a high ponytail, tilted her head back. A rush of water exploded from her mouth and rushed in Hidan's direction. He made a loud frustrated yell and leaped into a run. What he didn't expect was for the water to follow him. But it did. Meanwhile, one of the men with his village headband tied around his shoulder had his sights set on Deidara.  
Hidan jumped onto the side of a thick tree trunk and used it as leverage to launch himself at the ninja casting the jutsu, swinging his weapon freely. She narrowly avoided him, but this brought the flow of water from her mouth to an abrupt stop.

What the male ninja said was unclear to Deidara, but it sent a condensed ball of water speeding towards him, and it narrowly grazed past him. It was alarmingly powerful, sending his cloak and hair flailing due to the wind it churned up. He could see the man was preparing to launch another, kneading chakra. He seemed to be building it up. Now was his chance. He didn't try so much to integrate his art into these bombs, all he wanted to do at the moment was blow someone into oblivion. His bird began circling the clearing and he aimlessly threw the bombs as he went, blind to the fact his partner was down there, too. So much for teamwork. Another ball of water flew from the bastards mouth before Deidara could detonate them. This time, just the wind that came with it sent him spiraling for a good while, completely vulnerable. He could hear Hidan yelling incoherently below, but that was about the only thing could make out before he steadied the bird.  
He ground his teeth together and raised his hand, smiling wryly. 

"KATSU!"

Even for Deidara, who was used to the deafening sound, his ears rang for a moment after the bombs stopped detonating. He didn't stop circling, narrowing his eyes to catch any critical movement. The smoke didn't show any sign of dying down soon. Bits of rock and earth were thrown outwards in every direction, some even reaching Deidara's altitude. The dark menacing clouds that rose to the sky weren't without the odd spark of flame. His eyes watered. Beautiful.  
There was slight movement before a figure threw themselves out of the plume of smoke, skidding to a halt by the tree line. A ting of relief stirred somewhere in Deidara, but it was hidden by irritation. He stopped spiraling and hovered in place, his eyes locking with Hidan's own.

"Hey!! What the fuck did I tell you about doing that!" He squawked.

He opened his mouth to give him a begrudgingly apologetic reply. Instead, his lips snapped shut.

"Look out." He said instead, in a lukewarm tone.

Hidan's boysenberry eyes wandered from Deidara to the dispersing pall before he jolted with sudden realization.

"Son of a dick!" He practically shrieked, doddering in place to try and free himself from the soup like liquid that had encompassed his legs. 

Deidara crouched down and entwined his fingers together, resting his chin on the back of his hands. He watched Hidan's inane attempt to free himself from the jutsu with what someone might mistake as an affectionate gaze. But it was shrouded by irony, disappointment, and maybe even amusement, really. His head whipped up and his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, he yelled to the point of his voice breaking. Deidara simpered.

"What the fresh hell are you staring at! Help me out! This is what you call team work?!"

He even attempted to slice through it with his scythe, but as he went to pull it up, his fingers slipped and grabbed at thin air. The weapon wavered before tilting to the side, stuck. Hidan dragged his hands through his hair, looking completely and utterly lost for words. Deidara was about to speak once more, but he spotted more movement. The smoke was dying off, so it was clear to see one ninja was still on their feet. It seemed the remaining others weren't dead, but for the time being would not be a liability.  
A man with spiky auburn hair stumbled into clear air, coughs and wheezes racking his body. One arm was mangled almost beyond recognition, bloodied and torn. Deidara's work. In the other he held a Tekko-Kagi. Hidan was obviously starting to get a little frantic. 

Deidara heaved a sigh.  
The bird swerved and then swooped towards the ground, he reached into his bag and for a while after that, everything seemed to move in slow motion. The bird nose-dived between Hidan and the other ninja. Both of which instinctively leaned away. As the bombs left his hand, the mist ninja lunged forward with his weapon. A sharp burst of pain struck Deidara's cheek at the point of impact and snaked all over his face like a line of midgets doing the conga on his face with spiked heels.  
He leaned away enough to avoid the blades going in too deep, but it hurt like a bitch nonetheless. Not to mention the fact this caused the clay bird to head straight for a tree trunk.

"Katsu!" Deidara yelled hurriedly before the breath was knocked out of him.

He slammed straight into the tree. The bird he'd been crouched on disappeared immediately and he fell to the ground, grunting. He'd wasn't usually so close to the bigger bombs he detonated, and this time he pressed his hands hard over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut to protect them from the shower of rock and dirt hurled his way. And even...blood.  
He only opened them when Hidan started whining about how stuck he was.  
The Akatsuki jumped to his feet, chafed at his inability to finish these guys off without getting out of it unscathed. He was better then this and he found no other alternative then to just blame it on Hidan. Who-as of now-was still struggling to get out of the goop and had managed to get one foot out of the puddle. 

"About time. Did you have a nice nap?" He leered.

His arms were straight out in either direction. He looked like a child playing hopscotch.  
Deidara scoffed loudly and stomped over, grabbing hold of Hidan's sleeve and giving him a yank. With a long unpleasant squelching sound, he was free of the jutsu. Hidan didn't speak for a short while before turning to face Deidara fully, the corner of his mouth twitching downwards.

"That's it? I thought you were better then that, kiddo. It's a wonder you're even fucking here in the first place." He sounded genuinely disappointed, mostly resentful, but Deidara heard it.

"That sure is a funny way of saying thanks, yeah!" And instead of leaving it at that the blonde gave him a light shove.

It was enough to make him stumble back a little, which really shouldn't be so bad, but everything was a big deal to him and his oversensitive little ego. Hidan's brows furrowed and he gritted his teeth. His scythe was wrenched out of the goop all at once, and Deidara flinched. Well fuck. His free hand found its way to Deidara's collar easily, where it turned into a fist around the fabric. He jerked him forward so that they were face to face. Deidara placed his palms flat against Hidan's chest. The only reaction he found himself willing to privilege the older Akatsuki with was an unpleasant sneer.  
Obviously, it got on Hidan's nerves. He pushed him a little and Deidara's face went slack. Hidan seemed appeased by this.  
His hard gaze softened around the edges and he almost smiled. But even if he had smiled, it wouldn't of been a nice smile. Deidara pouted. As if remembering he was supposed to be mad, he tightened his fist around the cloak once more, prompting a yelp of sorts from the other. Haaa.

"Listen. Just 'cause you got a pretty face doesn't mean you can get away with being a brat."

Deidara opened his mouth to snap out a response, but cut himself off when Hidan yanked the collar again. Telling him to shut up in his own stupid aggressive language. He understood it to an extent though.

"Just 'cause piercings says I can't do jack shit to any of you doesn't mean I won't. I don't take orders from anybody except Jashin-sama, got it?"

Deidara was far too careworn to argue at this point. He blinked and sighed very quietly. Barely audible, actually. More of a whisper then anything else.  
Either way, Hidan took it as a yes. NOW, he smiled. It was probably the most horrid excuse for a smile Deidara had ever been unfortunate enough to lay his eyes on. But lucky for him it was gone almost as fast as it had appeared on his face. Why, he had no idea. Hidan was still staring at him and he was beginning to feel rather self conscious. It showed, too. The best he could do was stare at him right back, even if it was giving him an alarming mix of feelings he did NOT want to inquire into. 

It was almost like being trapped in one of Itachi's Genjutsu. Dazed, a little surprised, tense and...confused? All at the same time.  
The only difference was Hidan did not possess the Sharingan nor was he capable of using Genjutsu to fuck with anyone's head. Except maybe his own. But that had nothing to do with it. And that made it worse than anything Itachi could come up with in the morbid confines of his jutsu.  
After what felt like an eternity of jarring silence with nothing to listen to but the escalating beat of Deidara's own heart, Hidan leant forward. Deidara's breathe hitched (quite loudly) in his throat which if anything encouraged Hidan to press close enough to probably bat him with his own fucking eyelash. And then he smirked and reached up with his thumb to smear the blood off the blonde's cheek. He let go, turned on his heel and swung his scythe over his shoulder, sauntering off. He kicked one of the corpses in a way that implied just doing so was a deigning act for someone like him.  
Asshole!

"Okay, spit it out, what the hell is your problem!" Deidara called after him, completely and utterly flustered and hating himself for it too.

Hidan threw his arms into the air like he was welcoming somebody. Even though he had his back turned to the only person present. As usual, unwilling to display even the slightest form of acknowledgement. 

"Dunno what you're talking about Deidara-san. But unless YOU have a problem we should really get to business, yeah?"

Again with the mocking bullshit. Deidara took a breath, let it out slowly, and started walking after him. The mission had just gotten a whole lot longer then it had to be.

\---


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deidara has some time to reflect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey it's the second chapter already.
> 
> This is probably the farthest I've gotten with anything in my life ever haha.  
> It's kinda short, sorry about that.

The first order of business was to search the corpses in case they had already collected the scrolls Leader was after.  
A gruesome, and for Hidan, enjoyable task. The same couldn't be said for his partner.  
Either way, they came up empty and the conclusion was that mist ninja were headed in the direction of the scroll's hideout. With a little extra searching, Hidan found a map and some food pills. Deidara confiscated the food pills. 

Next, they sat down for a few minutes to get a good look at the map. It appeared that were they were now, the clearing, was near the sand village. The "hideout" so to speak, was a lake. This was immediately recognized as an inconvenience.  
Despite the fact Hidan himself would naturally have water type chakra, for most of his life he used taijutsu and his creepy ass curse jutsu in battle. Rendering him virtually useless in manipulation of water.  
This didn't mean they couldn't locate the scrolls with other methods, but it would just make the mission that much harder and longer. To say this frustrated Deidara was putting it lightly. To add on to that, about .5 seconds into their long walk to the destination Hidan start whinging about how he could've had a mass sacrifice.  
He actually seemed distressed. It was almost pitiful to Deidara. Almost.

"I'm sure we'll bump into someone you can slaughter meaninglessly along the way." Deidara said with a false air of kindness. He didn't bother disguising his disapproval.

Hidan wasn't convinced, but the other was too occupied to notice. He was thinking, biting his nails and all in all, just keeping interaction with Hidan to a minimum to avoid anymore...embarrassing reactions. He was on edge and alert, nothing like when he woke up. Thanks to that surprise attack. His mind was racing, and it must of been obviously he was a thousand miles away because the taller Akatsuki waved his hand in front of him.

"Hey, anybody in there?" He jested, smiling that awful smile of his.

Deidara gave him an exceedingly blase look to the point where Hidan retracted his hand and almost looked apologetic. That was new. The man then proceeded to fold his arms across his chest and shrug his shoulders. He tilted his head back and let go a god awful groan.  
Deidara found it hard to believe he was the younger one here. It was like having a child for a companion. He huffed.

"What's wrong?" His seemingly interested tone contradicted the look on his face.  
But it didn't stop Hidan from dumping his trivial problems on the blonde.

"This is literally the fucking worst. Don't TELL ME you find this interesting either 'cause I know what a lying ass-jabber you are." He muttered casually, looking at everything but Deidara.

"Ass-jabber" He echoed, squinting.

Hidan chortled and nodded, his shark toothed grin broadening.

"Assfucker, assbandit, asspirate...assjabber." He replied knowingly, finally looking down at Deidara's irritated face. 

Cute.

"What the hell? Where do you come up with these names,yeah." Deidara scowled.

Hidan didn't seem to mind let alone CARE that Deidara was quite clearly pissed off and, well, tired. In every sense of the word. 

"There's a lot you don't know about me, blondie." Clearly meant as a joke but oddly ominous, typical Hidan. 

Deidara ignored the disturbing undertone that maybe there was more unsettling things about Hidan he wasn't already aware of and rolled his eyes. He pulled out the map and stared at it intently. He wasn't actually taking any of what he saw in, but maybe Hidan would have the common courtesy to get the message. The message being "shut the fuck up".  
No such luck. He leaned to the side to eye the parchment as well, quirking an eyebrow. He was either completely oblivious to the others discomfort or fucking with him intentionally. Neither would surprise Deidara. By the time the dude was practically breathing down his neck the blonde was visibly sweating.  
Finally, he spoke.

"Okay, I think we should stop soon." He forced out through gritted teeth. 

Hidan nodded and ceased destroying the boundaries of personal space.

"You're so fragile." 

Deidara hissed.

"Eat a dick." He advised, folding the map up and slipping it into the pockets of his pants.

Hidan retaliated quickly, his voice turning considerably sour and passive aggressive. Wasn't really his style, he was usually just plain out aggressive. 

"I thought that was your thing?" He said slowly, innocently. 

He gave up. No matter how much he ran his mouth about being free to do whatever he wanted, he still couldn't do anything to Deidara. And it wasn't just because he'd blow him to bits and feed him to DOGS if he had to. He was bound by Leader's word. It was kind of liberating, knowing he could say almost anything he wanted to the white haired asshole. And he had a lot to say too. He was so goddamn annoying and yet prompting the weirdest reactions and feelings out of him. It was infuriating.

"You think a lot of things, Hidan." He smiled wryly, eyes wandering to take in the beautiful view around him. It would look better on fire.

Hidan glanced at him, skeptical.

"...and."

"And you're always wrong, yeah." He said sweetly.

"Oh yeah? Name some things I'm wrong about if you're such a smart fuck."

Here goes.  
Actually, no.  
Bad Deidara. Bad.

"Lets stop here." He was reeking and needed to freshen up and THIS was oddly convenient.

"Here" was another opening in the cluster of trees, this was where the forest significantly wore down to simply the odd tree here and there among reeds and what Deidara would simply call rock pools. The blood from the cut on his cheek had dried into unpleasant flakes of sorts and he was itching to wash off. One thing made him hesitant though.  
Hidan.  
Speaking of Hidan, he already had what remained of his cloak thrown into a messy pile near the closest pool. He dipped his feet into the water jolted, grimacing. Deidara cracked a smile. 

"The hell is so funny? Quit doing that with your face assfuck." He snapped.

Deidara narrowed his eyes defiantly but did indeed, stop smiling. This in turn elicited a smile from the other before he plunged into the water and inhaled sharply.  
He made a few breathless noises, opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish. Deidara had to bite his lip so he didn't, at the least, giggle at him.  
Hidan flipped him off, but the burning urge to cackle at his emotional reactions to everything that happened to him did not falter. 

It was the first time he wanted to laugh in his presence.

Almost endearing. Watching him act so idiotically.  
As much as Deidara wanted to hop in himself, there was no way he was taking off his undershirt. His limbs were scrawny. It looked like the guy was made of paper and could crumple into a sad heap at any moment. His torso was almost exactly the same. For one, he could run his hands down and feel each rib under his fingers. And of course, there was the whole mess over his chest.  
He didn't think showing THAT off would be appropriate.  
Throwing bombs and yelling didn't strain your muscles as much as it strained your vocal chords, basically.

The contrast between appearances was quite obvious. Short, unattractively thin, messy, long hair. Tall, CERTAINLY not thin (one might even say muscular. Yeah. You could definitely say that.), short well kept hair. The only thing they had in common was their light features. But even that in itself was a stretch. Hidan was practically a ghost.

"Deidara!"

His train of thought hit a snag and crashed off the tracks of emotional indecisiveness.  
He sat down with his legs folded and began rubbing a bit of clay between his fingers.

"Hm."

Hidan had waded to the back of the pool and was trying to get everything but his hair wet. Good luck with that.

"Why are you just sitting there, you're so weird."

Hes weird. Haha, alright. He got to his feet with a grunt and walked over to the edge of the pool. He threw off his sandals and rolled up his pants, sticking his legs in the water. This had to suffice. He wasn't going to embarrass himself like this, at least.  
His eyes were fixed on the clear water, and every now and then he'd kick his legs out just for the sake of it. He wondered if fish bombs could work. it would be an enlightening experience to try it out.

"Maybe you can't tell but I can assure you you really need a bath."

There he went again, catching him off guard. Deidara flinched and looked up, feeling a bit of heat go to his face when Hidan start cackling at him. His light hair was no longer slicked back like it was every single time Deidara saw him. Some of it fell over his face, barely over one of his eyes and sticking to his forehead. The rest spiked out in different directions, but the length remained more or less the same. He looked...stupid. Yeah, stupid.

"Maybe you can't tell but if it means fucking up my hair like THAT I'll pass." He replied swiftly , poking little holes in the clay to make two eyes and a pattern down its side. 

He made dimples along the spine and carefully formed a fin of sorts down the length of it's back.Definitely a fish. Hidan scoffed and went oddly silent. Deidara was too occupied sculpting a new piece of work to give a damn, even if he'd regret it very soon.  
Before he could really register what was happening, the fish was snatched out of his hands and he yelped. Hidan ran (or tried to, its water) to the back of the pool again and leaned his back against one of the boulders to examine the clay.

"GIVE IT BACK, HIDAN." 

Hidan looked at Deidara for a few seconds before he grinned and shrugged off his dismayed command. 

"What's so great about it anyway? What the fuck even is this?"

Deidara tried his best to ignore the hurtful comment and eased off his cloak ,already regretting this but continuing anyway. He lifted his bag up to his shoulders and Hidan looked pleased that he'd lured him into the water. Fucking asshole.  
He hissed through his teeth at the sting of cold water on his skin and soaking through his only clothing.  
Determination to rescue his precious clay drove him over to where Hidan was sitting, all spaced out like he was on some class A drugs or something. He wanted to punch him in his stupid face. At this rate he would do it, too.

Hidan didn't seem bothered by how angry Deidara looked either. He threw the fish at him and he caught it frantically and cupped it in his hands. He went over to the side and placed it securely between two boulders in his bag. Then, he turned around and glared daggers at Hidan.  
He gestured to himself, soaking wet.

"Look what you made me do, yeah?"

Hidan's eyes flutter shut and he went completely lax. He looked like he might actually be asleep. The only indication that proved otherwise was a lazy wave of his hand. 

"Just take the bloody shirt off and let it dry." he mumbled, completely dismissive. 

"I can't." The blonde frowned. With a disheartened sigh he reached up and untied his hair.

It fell over his face, shoulders, and back in tangled locks. Wonderful. He rested his head on a boulder and after staring at Hidan with the most pissed off expression he could muster and failing to get his attention, he dropped under the water and jumped up again not even a second later. That, caught his attention. Hidan forced an eye open. And then the other. He bit into his thumb to poorly disguise a snicker.  
Deidara looked exactly like a tomato with a wig thanks to this. He wasn't amused at all, in fact, he looked like he might even cry.

"Hey, woah. Don't be so sensitive. You look cute." Hidan snorted. He was contradicting his own statement. 

Nonetheless Deidara found he appreciated the others attempt to compliment, despite him being horrific at it. More or less. It was probably the first time he'd heard him compliment someone in a way that didn't scream "I wish I could rip your throat out".  
He didn't say anything about it though. He just rubbed his hand against the cut and washed his face a little before scrambling out of the pool and leaving Hidan in his own little dream world. He looked down and his shirt and knitted his eyebrows together.  
Well.  
He couldn't walk around wearing this. He glanced behind him to make sure Hidan was still spaced out and ripped his shirt off. It left parts of his skin a little red, as it didn't seem to want to part with it. He threw it across the floor and pulled on the cloak. That left the pants. He wasn't walking around with nothing but boxers on under his cloak. he'd have to deal.  
As much as he wanted to get a move on, this was a chance to finish his fish and have a food pill. Cheers to the ninja. They had quite a few of these.

He pulled one out of his bag. It was small, he could probably balance it on the tip of his middle finger. But from what he'd heard they were strong. With a surprisingly loud crunch, he bit into the shell of the pill and chewed. Huh.  
He shifted his gaze to Hidan and wondered if he'd seriously fallen asleep. But then he scrunched up his nose and reached up to brush his finger across it. Guess not.  
For someone who seemingly had an endless amount of energy and consistently asked for something to smash to bits, Hidan was sure acting acquiescent.

No matter, it gave Deidara some time to think. He was the type to do that a lot.

\---

From the moment he laid eyes on him he'd been repelled. It was hard not to be. The guy clearly had a screw loose, and even Kakuzu didn't seem to derive any enjoyment from being in his company. But there was one thing he knew for sure. He didn't really know? How he felt about Hidan.  
At the same as wanting to stay away, he wanted to figure him out. see what he was all about. Even if on the surface all he seemed to be was a religious nut with homicidal tendencies. Everyone in the Akatsuki seemed to be there for a reason.  
Everyone except Deidara and Hidan. 

Obviously, there was a reason he had joined. A bet, sort of. Which he lost. Hidan for all he knew just wanted to be free to kill as many people as he wanted just to appease his so called Lord Jashin. 

But everyone else turned to villainy because something major happened in their lives had changed the way they perceived the world around them. Made them truly individuals.  
It was fascinating.  
But where did that leave him? Nowhere, really. 

Sometimes he felt like something was wrong with him. He deserved more acknowledgement for his artistic talents, surely. But he rarely got it. It was hard to find someone who believed as strongly as he did in the beauty of destruction. The fleeting moment where he'd admire his handy work, before using a seemingly innocent piece of art against his enemies to blow them half way across the globe.  
Not even Sasori agreed with him. A fellow artist and his own partner in crime.

While Hidan might see beauty in destruction, he doubted he really admired it. Or thought about it. He was all about savoring pain and taking as long as he pleased. Always the pain with him. Nothing like Deidara.  
He could find a way to view each Akatsuki member as an artist, but Hidan left him scratching his head. 

And yet, he wasn't the WORST one of them. Being such an asshole half the time made it almost worth it when he showed a sliver of humanity.

Deidara might've been attracted to him if he was different. The problem wasn't necessarily how aggressive he was. It was the fact he could do it to any one of them.  
He wasn't particularly attached to anyone. Except maybe Kakuzu. But that was really pushing it.

There have been numerous occasions where Deidara wondered about Hidan's family. If he cared about them. He assumed he was the kind of kid to torture small animals whenever he was bored. How could anyone turn out so...wrong? And not have something to hold accountable for it. It was an idiotic question, because they were the same.  
Just assholes.  
Nothing more.

When people looked at the other Akatsuki, they had something to refer to.

That's so and so, the one who saw whatever the fuck. Or, the one who endured yada yada.

When someone looked at Deidara they just saw a naive teenager with a delusional belief in his artwork.  
He was even worse then Hidan in this aspect, because with him there is no room to ever think anything but "I'm going to die".  
Huh.

Then there was the weird part of him that actually liked him a little. He couldn't deny that at times he was endearing, and the fear he was able to immediately strike into peoples hearts was admirable. Something a lot of people would strive for.  
But when Hidan was quieter and more thoughtful about his words, that was when Deidara really started wondering how he felt about him. As if he wasn't always wondering how he felt about him. But times like that he really thought about it. Seriously. Instead of just something to occupy himself with when he had nothing better to do.

He could deny any feelings of any kind for him at all, but that didn't change the fact there was something oddly captivating about those unnatural eyes of his.

So yeah.

Most things are better than thinking about Hidan. 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tempted to make the next chapter somewhat about Yugakure?? Being Hidan's village and all.
> 
> It gets less coverage then I'd like and I wanna try my hand at recount writing.
> 
> So yeah, maybe.  
> It'll get gayer™, promise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidan discovers Curse Jutsu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while.
> 
> This wasn't gonna be a thing at first but I really like Hidan as a character and I wanted to write something like this.
> 
> Next chapter will be plenty gay promise

A thick mist shrouded the village of Yugakure, making most things virtually impossible to distinguish from the other distant silhouettes. This was a regular occurrence to the residents, but it didn't make it any less of a bother. Especially if you were expected to walk through the streets to school most days. 

Hidan was training to become a Shinobi, and he was finally starting to get somewhere. Despite the odds being stacked against him, that is. What were the chances that someone with tendencies like him and a passion for battle would be born into such a wimpy community? Such a wimpy family?  
Neither of his parents were ninja. His father was a tour guide and his mother sold dumplings in a kiosk passed down through the family.  
Hidan was an only child, and he balanced his parents features almost perfectly.  
He had his mothers unnaturally pale hair, and his father's striking eyes. Long eyelashes like his mother, pale skin like his father.  
It gave him quite the appearance to go with his odd personality. 

His fast footsteps came to a halt by a field, teeming with a contrast of children. There were even a few who already had their head guards but were still just..lurking around. The boy scoffed. Slackers. Someone caught him staring. A girl, maybe his age, possibly a little younger. She had her strawberry blonde hair tied into two idiotic pigtails and sheepishly waved. Hidan blinked, and then cracked a smile. She appeared less nervous due to this. It was always funny when people tried to interact with him. They made fools out of themselves.  
She obviously didn't realize it was a wry smile and went on her merry way yelling at what Hidan assumed were her friends.

He shifted his gaze to the double doors that loomed over him. At this point in his life, he was still pretty short. But hey, he was still young. He had hope. Hidan pressed a hand against one of the doors and pushed it open, the sudden burst of noise making him flinch.  
He stuck to one side of the hall to avoid bumping into anyone and maybe knocking their teeth out.

Hidan Hirai didn't have any friends. Which was to be expected. His demeanor wasn't what you'd call placid. In fact, he was rather sensitive. Even if he tried his best not to show it on his face, you could tell when you'd fucked up because he'd give you a death glare.  
Up until now, he'd never raised a hand against anyone. On rare occasions, he'd show little acts of compassion, even. It settled his popularity among his classmates somewhere in the middle and sparked some odd curiosity to learn more about him from other people.  
He was quick to thwart these with an unsettling remark or two. But only temporarily.  
It bothered the ever-loving fuck out of him and one day he'd make it clear it did.

He turned on his heel to stand in the doorway of the classroom. It was pretty bland, Everything here was. At the front of the room was a large chalkboard, going from one wall to the parallel one. Above it was a worn flag with the Land of Steam's symbol painted on. It was arguably a job well done, most people said it was. But it looked rushed and lame to Hidan. There were three rows of desks placed in front of the board and teacher's desk. They had spindly legs and when you sat in them they swayed with every movement. On several occasions one had collapsed under a child, ensuring the entertainment of every student. 

That left the two flags pinned side by side at the very back of the room. Hidden, almost.  
The mist symbol and the rain symbol. The rain village was small, the mist..not so much. But Yugakure was smaller. It was practically wedged between the two, and as a result of this was caught up in the war that racked the hidden rain. It became a pit stop of sorts for the clashing ninja and was pushed past its own capacity to withstand the horrors of war.  
Hidan was too young when the war came to an end to remember much. But it was bad.  
It didn't really occupy his thoughts often.

Already a few students were scattered around the room, a group seated on the window sill and muttering among themselves. The teacher sat at the desk and looked up briefly when Hidan entered. She gave him a perfunctory wave and then returned her attention to the forms she held in both hands.  
He didn't bother returning the welcome and fell into his usual seat. Right in the middle. Funnily enough, he got away with more this way.

The platinum haired boy reached into his duffel bag and slapped his textbook onto his desk.  
This was the start of his daily routine.  
Scribbling drawings of the Jashin symbol until class began.

He'd recently discovered the religious group and being the avaricious child he was, it naturally struck him as fascinating. Mostly just the freedom it granted the followers and the sense of purpose it gave him. If only in a mild manner. He still had some research to do.

\---

The first event of the day was practicing Ninjutsu. The problem here was Hidan didn't know any Ninjutsu. Well, that wasn't true. Everyone else just sucked significantly less than he did at using it.  
He was naturally a Water Type, but depending on Jutsu went against his own personal ideal. That being brute force.

The training groups were split into four, typically two boys and two girls.  
The first two sparred while the other two observed. The winner of the match moved on to the next person, so on so on

At the given moment, Hidan had his back against a tall wire fence separating the field from the large river that marked the edge of Yugakure. Any noise was blocked out by the rush of water against large rocks plummeting down a steep fall to the pool at the bottom. The only pool in the village that wouldn't boil you like an egg.

Standing in the center of the field, a few meters from each other, where the first two to battle.  
Battle was a rather loose and pretentious way to describe what was about to occur before him. But it worked nonetheless. 

For once the boy was paying attention.

The girl from before with the obnoxious pigtails started off with a basic hand seal.  
An Earth Style Jutsu that Hidan was unfamiliar with. She shifted her right foot outwards slightly and the ground made a faint rumble before cracking in a straight line towards the other child. Bits of rock lifted from the ground and fell to the side in the process.  
It was weak, but even then it was considered impressive for someone who wasn't even a Genin yet.  
Only a matter of time, though.  
In fact, tomorrow was the test. And Hidan was going to pass.

The opponent, a girl with dark hair and a pixie cut Hidan vaguely recognized from occasional encounters, simply sidestepped across the cracks in the ground towards pigtails.  
The blonde gave a startled yelp and crossed her arms over her face, ducking down to avoid the other girl's fist. she proceeded to swipe her feet out from under her. Her opponent landed on her back with a dull thud. When pigtails went to pin her down, she rolled to her right and she landed on her knees, grabbing at nothing.

Hidan lost interest and turned his head to the boy sitting next to him. At least HE seemed pretty interested in it. Even to him, the kid looked small. Fragile enough to be tipped over by a light breeze. And yet his round eyes were so spirited his physique barely mattered.  
Weirdo.

"What're you gawking at." He muttered.

The boy seemed to be surprised that somebody was speaking to him and as a result of such jerked a little when he heard Hidan.  
He didn't wait for a response and continued his rant.

"We do this everyday, haven't you noticed they're just dumping us somewhere to do whatever we want? At this rate, half of us will be dead before we're even Chunin."  
The zealot stated casually. As if this was a proper way to introduce himself.

The brunette only blinked in response, scrambling for words.

"W-what? Why?" He eventually said, creasing his forehead.

Hidan scowled.

"Because! We're just a small village wedged between a land that can destroy us without even a pinch of resistance. On the other side is a war torn hellhole thats dumping their problems on us. They can't keep ignoring it forever.  
We'll last a decade or two at most at this rate."

The boy didn't respond this time, to Hidan's annoyance. Instead he returned his gaze to the sparring girls and actually smiled.  
He proceeded to fold his arms over his chest, his entire demeanour changing to that of a confident Shinobi.

"I think you're being too cynical, we're doing great. Even if the education system isn't the best, at least we're not in the Hidden Mist.  
They graduate students with dead matches!"

The platinum blonde huffed, disheartened and annoyed. He turned away sharply and picked up a stick that was lying next to him before drawing nothing in particular on the ground.  
Eventually this "nothing in particular" formed into a wobbly circle.  
Hidan stared at it for a while before something clicked in his head and he grinned.  
The boy continued to draw a triangle inside the circle, making the Jashin symbol.

He had an idea.  
———

By the time Hidan started heading home the sun was already being swallowed up by the horizon and the atmosphere was filled with an orange hue.  
Everything was relatively quiet.  
So quiet, you could hear the bubbling water of nearby hot pools if you really strained your ears.

The most prominent noise was Hidan's own footsteps against cobblestone.  
The street he was strolling down was lined with almost identical houses.  
Small, made of stone and/or wood, empty.

Those who weren't out on missions were out doing their work. A couple of people had the luxury to kick back and relax at this time of day, excluding children.  
It seemed that most tourists wanted to come to the villages iconic hot springs when the sun was going down and everything was illuminated by lanterns.  
Made sense.  
Hidan himself rarely indulged in Yugakure's main attractions.  
His parents were cheap, and he only really got to if he behaved.  
So almost never, really.  
It didn't bother him that much, it just annoyed him that nobody on the outside seemed to view them as equals.  
As a capable Shinobi village worthy of acknowledgment .  
For most people it was just some place where you could stick your stinky feet into hot water.

Hidan gritted his teeth together and kicked a pebble across the pathway into one of the hot pools before turning to stand in front of his front door.  
The lights in the kitchen were on, which meant his mother was home.  
His Dad was usually guiding people around the village at this time.  
Once again. It was a fun time to be a tourist.

He sniffed and shuffled over to the wooden door, giving it a light push.

"I'm home Haha."

As he expected, she was at the stove cooking something that he probably wasn't going to eat. When he walked in she turned sharply and placed her fists on her hips.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home late? You weren't trying to scare anyone again were you, we lose money when you do stuff like that, Hidan."

He dropped his duffel bag into the seat next to him before taking a seat himself and folding his arms over the table. He rested his cheek on his arm and huffed.

"I was training."

He didn't realise how she'd tied up her hair until now. It was up in a bun, which meant she was cooking something actually nice today.  
Hidan's mother had similar hair to him, but it was more blonde than platinum blonde like his.  
She said it came from his grandmother.  
You could stand them next to each other and there would only be a slight resemblance, considering everyone here tended to have lighter features.  
Her eyes were brown, so obviously that was nothing like him.  
Even their personalities clashed a little, but she was better than his Dad.  
At least she encouraged his battle hungry pursuit.  
And she knew how to cook ribs.  
That too.

"You still should've told me." She bit the inside of her cheek and gave him a look of stern motherly disapproval.

Hidan looked past her to the stove and smiled.

"Whats for dinner?"

His mother smiled as well and picked up the frying pan with the handle. Two pairs of meaty ribs slipped onto a plate.  
Cooked to perfection.  
He sat up and grinned.

She set the plate down and then placed two others on the table.  
One for her, one for her son.  
She knew he didn't want a fork or a spoon so instead she watched him with fond eyes as he dug into his food.  
By the time he'd eaten to the point of satisfaction it was dark out.  
Hidan looked up at the clock on their beige wall and squinted.

"Whens Chichi coming, only shady people stay out this late." He said around a mouthful of food.

His mother responded with a short laugh, to Hidan's confusion.

"What?" The boy frowned.

"Nothing, Hidan. finish your food-"

As if on cue, there were two curt knocks on the door and then silence.  
His mother smiled widely and stood up.  
She gave him a kiss on the top of his head before heading to the front door.  
Hidan could tell from here that whoever it was was not him.  
The silhouette of the stranger it was was far too tall to be his father.  
It didn't really matter to him, he was busy wiping the kiss out of his well groomed hair.  
He got to his feet and peeked around the door to see who it was.

When his mother opened the door, he could see a tall woman with light brown hair tied back and the Yugakure head guard on her forehead.  
She had a grim look on her face, as if she'd just seen a ghost and she stared straight ahead, eyebrows furrowed.  
Her arms were rigid at her sides and she was as pale as a sheet.

He couldn't quite make out what the two were talking about, but he heard his father's name and an odd sick feeling formed in his stomach.  
Like a knot he couldn't untie.  
The boy clutched his torso as his mother stumbled back and held her hands over her mouth.

Hidan's mother fell to her knees and let out a choked sob.  
The female ninja knelt down next to her and placed a hand on her back.

Hidan turned away and stared at the table, his legs shaking in a way he was unfamiliar with.  
The platinum blonde gulped thickly and felt tears sting his eyes as his mother wailed.  
His lip trembled and he curled his free hand into his hair, tugging until he pulled a chunk of his pale hair right out.  
It hurt, but it was comforting.  
So he kept doing it.

And this was how Hidan Hirai came to know pain.  
——

The next day his mother didn't get out of bed, so he didn't need to ask her for permission to go outside.  
He wasn't going far anyway.

The sun was shining bright in spite of the early morning mist that he was so accustomed to.  
Birds were buzzing with energy and everyone was passing by his house, getting ready for the busy day ahead.  
He looked out to where the village met the hills and felt himself choking up.  
Just like last night.  
Whatever was happening to him, he had to stop it.

Hidan spotted a single blade from his father's old garden scissors lying next to the porch and walked over.  
He stared at it for a long while before he picked it up and went to sit between the side of the house and the fence.  
This way he was hidden by shade.

He pressed it against his other hand for what felt like a lifetime, simply sniffling every now and then and readjusting the amount of pressure he was applying.

Finally, he thrust it forward.

There was a sick squelching noise of metal tearing through skin and he yelped, biting his lip to stay quiet.  
Tears welled in his eyes and cascaded down his cheeks in a consistency akin to heavy rain.  
But the pain of it distracted him from this new emotion he was experiencing.  
It was nice, in a morbid fucked up way.  
He let let out a shaky sigh and tore the blade out of his skin, throwing it against the fence.  
It landed on the cobblestone with a clank and he titled his head back and leaned against the wall of his house.  
Hidan stared through hooded pink eyes at the sky above him.  
It was dotted with white fluffy clouds.  
A perfect day for a disaster. 

The hand he stabbed was shaking uncontrollably, and he had to grasp his arm to steady it.  
Hidan closed his eyes and smiled weakly.

After almost 20 minutes of savouring the feeling that came with stabbing ones self in the hand he struggled to his feet and headed back inside to get some bandages.

——

It was mid-day when he was sitting on the porch again, staring at nothing in particular.  
A voice sliced through the static of nothing that was filling his head.  
He flinched and looked up, his mouth forming the shape of an "o" before abruptly closing once more when he saw who was there.  
He expected it to be his father, to an extent.

There stood Jun, the horridly optimistic boy from yesterday.  
He was holding a red velvety box in his small freckled hands and standing sheepishly outside his house.

"Hi Hidan-san!"

"Jun." He replied nonchalantly, leaning back against the stone steps.

Jun faltered, shifting from one foot to another.

"I made you something! I know you'll like it, if I can just come in?"

Hidan stared at him expectantly until he jogged over and sat next to him, handing him the box.  
Hidan took it with his good hand and inspected it as if it contained a bomb.  
He looked at him Jun skeptically before opening the lid and blinking.

He didn't smile, even if he wanted to.

Inside was a silver pendant, clearly made with delicate hands and lots of time and effort.  
It wasn't any old pendant.  
It had the Jashinism symbol on it.  
He put it back in the box and set it down, slowly looking at Jun again.

"Did you make this?"

He chuckled, shaking his head.

"My Dad likes to craft when he's not out on missions. He takes commissions for personalised jewellery all the time!" Jun paused, as if he was unsure whether or not he should continue, but he did. 

"He thought this would help…"

 

Hidan's face fell and Jun bit his lip.

"He just-" He cut himself off. "I hope it's accurate?"

"Um..yeah, it is."

"Are you okay? I heard about the accident yesterday." The brunette mumbled, like he was speaking into a pillow.

Hidan narrowed his eyes.

"It wasn't an accident. It was intentional." He said matter of factly.

"You can't kill someone by accident."

Jun didn't reply.

Hidan patted the velvet box.

"I'll put this on later." He added hesitantly.

He didn't wanna scare off the only person who wanted to hang out with him.  
That was new because usually he really would want to.

"I'm glad you like it."

There was a long stretch of silence before Hidan suddenly had a burning question he needed answered.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the academy?"

Jun shook his head and shrugged.

"You said it yourself, we're not accomplishing much there."

"Keh."

——

The next few days felt exactly the same.  
Hidan even got into a routine.  
Wake up, peek into his mother's room, maybe try and talk a bit, go downstairs.

Eat a little, punch something, hurt himself so he doesn't cry, talk to Jun.

 

This only lasted for a week before the Genin exams came up and he was determined to leave the safety of his home and head back to the academy.

Just to pass the test, then he'd never have to go back to that wretched place again.  
He could finally become a proper Shinobi and contribute to something greater than himself.

The thought alone managed to put a smile on his face as he stood outside the classroom.  
He could hear lively chatter inside, but, oddly enough, he was feeling pretty nervous and he was suddenly unsure of whether or not he wanted to do this.  
The only thing that prompted him inside was the teacher's voice silencing the class as she announced the beginning of the Genin exams.

An eerie silence fell over the entire class as soon as he stepped into full view of everyone.  
Even the teacher couldn't hide the surprised look on her face.

He gave her an uninhibited smile and she responded by blinking and sitting up a little straighter in her seat.

"Hidan!"

"..Yeah." He replied quizzically. 

Under the confused facade was simply a whole lot of anger that everyone thought he was too much of a pussy to show up to the exams.  
But up until this point in his life he'd been very good at hiding his feelings.

"..Take a seat." She forced out, returning the smile.

Hidan was thankful to see Jun in the front row and sat down next to him, staring straight ahead to blatantly ignore the fact half the people in the class were gawking at him with wide eyes and mouths.

The teacher got to her feet and pursed her lips.

"Okay,you will be graded based on your ability in Ninjutsu,Taijutsu and Genjustsu.  
The bonus marks are derived from sportsmanship and strategy. Two matches are completed at a time, the winner moving onto the next round. The 5 students with the lowest overall scores need to wait for the next Genin exam. Any questions?"

Nobody raised their hands.

 

The matches took place on the sparring field outside the Academy.  
Those who weren't battling sat in neat rows by the fence and watched.  
Naturally, Hidan sat next to Jun.  
Apparently they were friends now.  
Jun was watching the first battle of the day with bright eyes, seemingly unable to acknowledge the other boy's existence.  
Hidan frowned and followed his gaze to the sparring students.  
He couldn't focus for more than 10 seconds before he had to occupy himself somehow.  
The only reason he'd come back was to pass the test and finally become a Genin.  
Now even that didn't seem to matter.  
He just wanted to go home and go back to sulking.

He felt stirring next to him and looked to his side to see the space where his friend had been was now empty.

Jun was walking over to the centre of the field and he turned a little to give Hidan a little wave.  
NOW, he was paying attention.  
From what he'd seen, Jun was a wind type.  
It was known to happen in Yugakure, but it was still a bit odd.  
Almost everyone was either a water or earth type.  
If you were lucky, your child might be both.  
Sometimes they were neither and had to rely on Taijutsu alone.

To make it worse, Jun had some difficulty using his chakra type.  
Thanks to that useless education system.  
It wasn't just the Academy though, everything here was useless.  
Including Hidan.  
Otherwise, the security of the border wouldn't of been breached and nobody would've gotten hurt.  
Hurt was just a milder word for killed, of course. 

He could almost see how this was going to play out, the guy was up against your typical dick bag.

Hidan couldn't put a name on him but he was tall and lanky, with light hair and ghostly eyes.  
Much like himself.  
Except Hidan was small and his aura didn't radiate of post apocalyptic professionalism.

Both students did the sparring seal with one hand and for a long moment everything was idle.  
And then all at once, the creepy pale guy lunged out with his feet, kicking Jun in the knee.  
Naturally, he staggered backwards.  
The boy only advanced, thrusting his elbow up to hook him in the nose so hard Hidan saw a spurt of blood.

This prompted a collective gasp from the class.  
Nobody had ever really been subjected to actual violence before.

He didn't even pause to give him a chance to recover.  
As Jun's hand went to subconsciously grasp his injured nose the boy brought his other hand into a fist and connected it with Jun's cheek, swiping at his legs with his foot at the same time.  
Jun flailed like a flightless bird before landing on the ground with no visible intentions of getting up again.

The weird thing was his opponent seemed to wait for him to get up and even put some distance between the two before performing the hand seal for a water style Jutsu that resembled the Water Dragon one but couldn't possibly be it.  
He wasn't even a Genin yet?

Either way, Jun was too puzzled to do much when it collided with him except stay on his feet.  
He pulled out some Shuriken and aimlessly hurled them at him.  
Two of them grazed his arms and the other missed.

The boy hissed through his teeth and chakra dashed for forward, launching his foot into Jun's stomach.  
Their movements seemed to go in slow motion for a split second before Jun choked out a cough and plummeted into the ground, this time even riling up some dust.

He lay on the ground for almost a whole minute just catching his breath.

The teacher only paused for a moment before stepping up and watching as the boy helped Jun up in the most casual manner possible.

"Alright, who wants to go next?" She chirped, a little too breezily.

Hidan lifted his bandaged hand and squinted at the blonde, his lip curling.

"Ah, Hidan? You seem to have injured your hand. Are you sure you want to take part today?"

"Yes!" Riposted Hidan with a ting of desperation.

She quirked an eyebrow and Hidan felt his cheeks grow hot.

"Yes." He repeated quietly.

Obviously this guy was good, the only way he was going to pass this test was by beating him.  
Also he beat up Jun and that didn't sit well with him either, he supposed.  
He didn't wholly accept the idea of worrying for another person yet.

"Alright, good luck to both of you!"

The platinum blonde ignored the obvious stares and jogged over to where Jun had previously stood, staring coldly at his opponent.  
The boy was visibly uncomfortable with his silent rage and Hidan was glad for that.  
It seemed the events of the last week hadn't changed his meaningless aggression at least.

This time there was no sparring seal, not even a pause.  
The blonde dashed forward and Hidan caught his fist in his good hand, smiling broadly.  
He forgot that most people had two fists and thus only felt a short burst of triumph before it was smothered by the sharp pain in his jaw.  
He instinctively kicked him between the legs and sniggered when his opponent wheezed as a result of this.

The blondes fingers curled around Hidan's wrist and before the situation could register the smaller boy was in midair and then lying flat on his back with a pounding in his skull.

His eyes widened until they were like dinner bowls and he leapt to his feet.  
Without thinking he rammed his side into the blonde and knocked him over.  
Hidan dug his knees into the other's waist and punched him in the lip, making the guy cut it on his own teeth.

The victory was short lived before he was the one pinned to the ground.  
There was a long pause where the both of them simply glared at each other.  
Suddenly all Hidan wanted to do was bash his stupid face in.  
Nobody else was talking, there was a shocked silence.

A drop of blood from the taller student's lip dropped onto Hidan's cheek and intuitively, he licked it off.  
To his immediate regret.  
The boy lifted his fist, but it froze in midair, and so did he.  
Suddenly all he could do was stare at Hidan like he was some sort of monster.

"What the-"

"What?!"

"What happened to you?!"

Hidan creased his forehead and lifted the back of his hand to inspect it.  
His skin was pitch black, save for a few straight white lines running down his wrist to his knuckles.  
There was a thick singular line running down his fore arm as well.  
He reached up to brush his fingers against his face and sat up quickly, bashing his forehead against the boy's.  
There was a sick crack and the boy fell back, grasping the point of impact and groaning.

And still. Nobody spoke.  
Not even Hidan.  
He was sort of occupied hyperventilating.  
What the fuck was this, some Jutsu?  
Did he have a blood line limit he was unaware of until now?  
None of his family were Shinobi and he didn't come from a Shinobi origin.

Soon enough he staggered to his feet to stand over his opponent with a blank face.  
The look of absolute terror he was met with both confused and excited him.  
His pursed lips curled into a smile and that smile turned into a grin.  
Hidan placed his foot over his chest and shoved him onto his back, letting out a god awful cackle.

The boy still couldn't tear his eyes away.  
Hidan could feel his rapid heart beat under his foot.

He felt like he could crush it beneath his shoe.

Oh, how he a wanted power like that.

He wanted to have the ability to trap someone and make them feel helpless.  
Just like he did all this time.

"I win." He breathed, finally ceasing the pressure to his opponents chest and stepping off of him.

The markings on his skin faded and he dropped to his knees , his vision suddenly going hazy.

The last thing he saw was the teacher running towards him before everything went dark and his head hit the ground with a dull thump.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yugakure :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geography in Naruto is a pain in the ass so incase you haven't caught on I did change the location of some of the villages, just to make it easier.

Eventually sitting in a relatively cold pool of water bored a guy out and Hidan opened his eyes once more.  
It took a moment for his surroundings to register and he even expected to see Kakuzu sitting several metres away filing through his money instead of Deidara carefully handling his stupid dough.  
And to make it worse he didn't feel all that disappointed by the change.

While Deidara was pretty obnoxious, at least he bothered to converse.  
All Kakuzu ever did was grunt and make ominous remarks.  
Hidan was touchy, eventually even he got tired of the constant hostilities.

And so he came to the decision to maybe lay off his temporary partner for at least a little while.  
The platinum brushed a lock of wet hair off his face and waded over to Deidara.  
He rested his arms on the edge of the pool and rested his chin on them.  
His mouth opened ever so slightly and his eyebrows glided up his forehead now that he was close enough to actually see the clay fish.

While he'd been more or less dozing off the younger Akatsuki was busy adding little details to the clay.  
The tips of the fins were frilled and along the outline of the gills were curls vaguely resembling waves of sorts.  
These were also running down the length of the fish and ending at the tail, which split down the middle.  
The eyes were hollow, Hidan noticed this as a reoccurring feature in all of Deidara's art.

He'd even carved out a little mouth.  
It looked just like an actual fish, just prettier.  
He wasn't going to say that, though.  
Instead Hidan hauled himself out of the water and sat down next to Deidara.  
The blonde gave him a guarded look and he rolled his eyes and scooted away ever so slightly.  
Deidara set the bomb-to-be on the gravely ground and diverted his attention to Hidan.

"What're you staring at, yeah."

"The fish." Hidan replied quickly. He leant into his own hand and quirked and eyebrow, fixing Deidara with a smug look.

"So.. you do know what it is."

"Well, yeah! I'm not that fucking stupid. I was just joking earlier."

Deidara gave him an unconvinced glare and folded his arms, sitting up a little straighter.

"I don't joke about my art, yeah."

The other took this as plenty reason to get mad again and frowned before sitting up as well.

"Well, I don't joke about Jashinism, so I'm glad we're on the same fucking page."

 

Deidara huffed but made no further comment concerning their childish squabble and picked up the fish again, leaning over to drop it into the water with a subtle splash.  
Hidan watched it curiously as it sunk to the bottom of the pool and then, all of a sudden, sprang into life, its tail thrashing wildly.  
It swam in tight circles for a few seconds and then darted through the middle of the pool.  
Deidara made the hand seal to detonate it and it burst.  
Huge bubbles rose to the surface with bits of earth and rock.  
water was sent flying into the the sky and raining down in a multiplicity.  
The young man held out his palm and let the water hit his skin, grinning.  
Hidan stared at him with amused puzzlement as he admired the avowedly stunning sight.

It did look pretty cool, Hidan had to admit, but so did the fish.  
And now it was gone.  
A crying shame, if he said so himself.

"That looked pretty awesome." Hidan chewed his lip, inwardly cursing. 

He only realised how stupid it was to say that after snapping at someone once it was out.  
Everyone knew he was a goddamn idiot so maybe Deidara wouldn't think anything of his odd behaviour.  
This whole mission was a bad idea, because it was rousing some weird emotions that were practically foreign to him.  
Or had been for a long time.  
Either way, now was a good time to get going and maybe find a sacrifice or two.

Of course, Deidara wasn't the type to let a compliment regarding his art go unnoticed and he turned to stare stupidly at the other.

"Ya think?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess. The fish looked pretty cool though, dunno why you had to blow it the hell up when you spent so much time on it."

"Art's purpose is to entertain and inspire, it can't do that if its just sitting there looking pretty. If it goes out with a bang it'll be guaranteed a place in-"

Hidan wasn't listening anymore. He was already on his feet and pulling on his cloak and scythe, heading for a clear pathway that winded through the rock pools and trees in a (almost) straight line.  
He lifted his hand and gave Deidara a beckoning wave.

"-Everyone's hearts. Yeah, yeah I know! Cmon blondie." 

"Thats not what I was gonna say!"

——

After almost half an hour of blindly wandering Hidan pulled out the map and squinted at it.  
Deidara gave him an expectant stare and after a long moment he groaned.

"This is not the Hidden Sand. It's kinda far from here..I think. We're walking along the mist and rain border, which means we should be heading..uh. East?" He finally said, running his free hand down his cheek.  
The blonde kicked a rock as he passed it and watched it roll into the bushes.

"So what? We're lost?"

Hidan made a sound similar like a wet fart with his lips and he rolled up the map, folding his arms behind his head.

"Hey, don't jump to conclusions, I'm just stating facts."

"Ugh, of course we're going the wrong way, yeah. Why would they send a bunch of Mist Shinobi to a different area?"

Hidan didn't reply and Deidara took this as a confession of his incompetence.

"Do you even know how to read, why didn't you just let ME handle the geography, yeah!"

He snatched the map out of his hands and unfolded it in front of him, scanning over it with disapproving judgement.  
Finally, he spoke.

"It's on the border. Thats where we're headed, okay?"

Hidan stared blankly ahead with an intense concentration that Deidara had never seen on his face before.  
Come to think of it, he hadn't ever really seen Hidan concentrate at all, so this was new.

"Hidan…san?"

The man jerked back into reality and whipped his head to the side to scoff.

"Since when did you call me that?!"

"Forget it, did you hear me?"

Hidan's face went slack and he slouched forward, glaring at his shoes.

"Yah."

Something clicked and Deidara suddenly realised why he was reacting so weirdly.

"Oi, isn't that where you're?…" The ninja trailed off and Hidan seemed to also falter a moment as well.

They turned their heads as one in time to see almost a dozen Shuriken flying in their direction.  
The zealot swung his scythe out and deflected the ones that came close enough to count as a proper threat.  
About 15 metres from where they stood Deidara saw a middle aged man dressed in Shinobi pants, sandals, mask and gear (but no head guard) perched on a tree branch.

"I'm getting sick of these nosy cocks…" Hidan growled.

The man seemed unperturbed and hopped down, strolling forward to slim the distance between the three.

"Judging by your cloaks, you are members of the Akatsuki." He began slowly, as if they needed to have one sentence at a time fed to them.

He pulled out a sword and held it in front of him.  
The brunette cocked his head and continued.

"Theres a large bounty goin' round for yer heads." He paused to look them up and down before continuing his self assured introduction.

"Hidan, I believe? An S-Rank missing-nin from Yugakure, responsible for several cases of brutal homicide within the Land of water.  
Deidara, also S-ranked, also a missing-nin. Coming from Iwagakure and responsible for lending assistance in crimes against the five great nations."

Hidan smiled affectedly and fabricated one of his black spears from his cloak.

"This dunderfuck sure has a knack for stating the obvious." He purred to nobody in particular.

The zealot glanced at Deidara and nodded to the thicket on either side of them.

"This guys mine, blondie."

Deidara rolled his eyes but didn't protest.  
He wasn't going to waste his clay on one guy anyway and watching one of Hidan's ceremonies may just be an enlightening experience.  
He substituted from the spot he'd been standing onto the nearest branch, kneeling down with one hand in his bag.  
Just in case.

Hidan didn't seem to realise that the man had approached them both in full confidence while fully aware that they were both S-ranked.  
Obviously he wasn't the type to fuck around.  
He didn't give off an idiotic vibe either, unlike his partner.

The man performed a short hand seal and placed his palm against the ground.  
Nothing happened but it didn't seem like anything was supposed to.

"You really are retarded aren't you?! coming out here all by yourself.  
You're lucky its me you bumped into, dying as a sacrifice to Jashin-sama is the greatest privilege!"

The bounty hunter stood straight again and didn't comment on the others remark.  
Hidan gave a harsh derisive laugh, dashing forward and swinging his scythe horizontally at the brunette.  
He jumped up and used the weapon to push himself into the air and plummet down again towards Hidan.

He flinched and stepped back, shielding his face with scythe.  
There was a clashing sound as the sword hit it and then bounced off again.  
The bounty hunter landed neatly on his feet.  
It was his turn to dash forward.  
Hidan thrust his blade forward and whacked the sword out of his hands, drawing a little blood along the blade in the process.  
Deidara could see from where he was that Hidan was grinning.  
The victory was brief, because with a few quiet words the ground shook and large spikes several metres higher than the both of them shot out in abundance.  
The brown haired ninja substituted and landed barely an inch from the farthest spike.

Hidan jumped into the air but sliced his sandal in half due to the spikes.  
The rope going from the handle of his scythe extended and he swung the weapon out to slice the top of the closest spike, allowing to land on it.

The bounty hunter watched him with skeptical eyes.  
Hidan raised the spear in his other hand and pressed it against his belly, beaming down at his opponent with a manic impression.  
He shoved it forward until it broke through the skin of his back with a burst of blood and emerged on the other side.  
Blood forced itself from his mouth in shaky coughs and he started sniggering again, ripping the spear out.

The masked man was obviously alarmed, but he performed another hand seal and a second set of spikes broke out from the first one.  
Too bad for him, Hidan was ready to substitute the moment he lifted his hands and was in front of him in a second.  
He kicked him hard in the gut and sent him sprawling on the ground.

A steady flow of blood was pouring from the puncture wound in his torso and he used it to draw the curse circle Deidara immediately recognised.  
Hidan took his sweet time to run his tongue along the blade and wait for his skin to turn black and white, which gave the ninja enough time to use a scroll and fabricate a giant Shuriken with only three huge blades.

He blindly hurled it at Hidan and he ducked, but it curved and cut deep into his upper arm.  
Deidara saw a whole chunk of his shoulder come clean off and he dropped the blade, falling to his knees to grasp the gaping gash.  
From here he could see a white dot which only meant it cut straight into the bone.  
He almost didn't wanna watch anymore.  
Likewise to Hidan, the bounty hunter also fell to his knees and grasped the point of impact.  
But while Hidan was laughing uncontrollably, he was groaning and cursing.

"Serves you right for blindly attacking me you pathetic atheist!"

He let go of his wound and stretched his fingers out to look at the sticky red liquid that dripped from them.  
That sure was a lot of blood.  
He got to his feet and titled his head back, as if he had all the time in the world to just relax.

Deidara made a mental note to ask Kakuzu if his ceremonies were always like..this.  
Hidan scooped up the spear and held it to his chest staring his victim straight in the eye.  
The guy was fully aware of his Jutsu now and jumped to his feet, planning to just ram himself into the guy and delay the inevitable.  
Hidan twirled the scythe and used the stump of the handle to manhandle him onto the ground again.

He didn't falter any longer, he lifted the blade, then drove it forward again, straight through his chest.  
Blood sprayed everything in his vicinity and the man clutched his heart, writhing on the ground like a worm while Hidan sunk to his knees again and keeled over.  
Both of his hands were tight around the spear as he coughed and gagged until the subject of his curse stopped moving completely.  
Then one hand travelled down to his necklace and he pressed it against his lips, his eyes fluttering shut.

"Oi, Hidan! You're okay, yeah?" The blonde finally called after an uncomfortable amount of silence.

The only response the older Akatsuki could humble himself to come up with was a cheery, brief lift of his middle finger while his forehead remained pressed against the ground.  
Yeah, he's fine.

He settled his weight on the branch and dangled his legs from it, swinging them slowly.  
Kakuzu always seemed so disgusted when he spoke about Hidan's rituals.  
Deidara could see why, but being the misunderstood poet he was also saw beauty in it.  
He insisted time and time again that every Akatsuki was an artist, even if until know he'd never witnessed anything artistic in Hidan's day to day activities.

He did look kinda pretty when he wasn't yelling or being a general nuisance.

Eventually, the platinum sat up and tore the spear out of his chest, wearing an expression that someone pulling out a prickle might have.

He got to his feet and started maundering down the path, dragging his scythe on the ground.

"I'm finished, lets go!"

Deidara hopped down and had to run to catch up with him.

"Hey, that was a pretty eloquent ceremony, yeah."

"What?" 

"Articulate, expressive..artistic" He continued, smiling faintly.

"Oh christ." Hidan mumbled wryly. "I guess you could put it like that. It's more sacred than anything." He paused mid sentence to titter indignantly. "At least you respect it more than Kuzu does."

Deidara shrugged his shoulders and looked away, clicking his tongue to try and lessen the awkward silence that quickly formed.

"So you're sure we're heading for the border then?"

"Huh? Yeah. Thats where you're from if I'm not wrong."

The other's expression darkened significantly and Deidara noted that talking about it was a no-no for the future. He shot him a glare and Deidara jolted.

"Do bears shit in the woods? Yeah, thats where I grew up. We're prolly almost there, considering the rock pools everywhere."

"Maybe thats why Leader assigned us this mission."

Hidan sighed and cracked his neck.

"Well he's a damn retard if he thinks they're gonna greet me with hugs and smiles."

"…do you think leaving that dead body there was really a good idea, yeah."

"If someone follows us let them, more fun for me."

Deidara shifted his gaze from Hidan to a blurring structure in the distance.  
The closer they got, the more it looked like a gate.  
Hidan stopped walking.

"You good?"

Hidan squinted, raking a hand through his hair.

"Yugakure converted to a tourist site, which means they're almost definitely not concerned with the bingo book. Which means YOU at least, should be good.  
Probably me as well. Just in case.."

He whipped out his straw hat and secured it on his head and over most of his face.

"Straw hats on."

Deidara sniggered. 

"Alright smarty pants."

Hidan resumed walking, lifting his scythe to attach it to his back.

"S'right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but I have plans for the next few ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	6. ♨︎YUGAKURE♨︎

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hit the whirling fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♨︎YUGAKURE♨︎ <<<< I made this thing a while back so idk ill title these chpaters with that I guess.
> 
> Wowowow I really have my hands full with school so sorry if I take a while to update.
> 
> Anyways heres the next chapter.  
> Enjoy and stuff.

"Is everyone ready?" Squad leader chirped, clapping his hands together and smiling broadly.

"For what." Hanami mumbled, shifting her weight from one food to another.

"Todays mission is going to be very different. We're going to patrol the borders.  
I've already thought of the teams, me and Hanami will go left, Hidan and Jun, you guys go right. Everyone head back here after half an hour." The blonde man paused to rifle through his many pockets and pull out two coloured flares.

He handed Jun the yellow one and kept the blue one.

"If anything goes wrong, set these off." His voice sounded very relaxed, almost like this was a chore. Nobody here really believed in such thing as danger, not even after the incident.

While Jun stared at the cylindrical object Hidan gawked at their instructor.

"So this is like.. an actual mission?"

"Well, every mission is an "actual mission" but yeah. This is B ranked." He replied breezily, running a hand through his unkempt hair.

Hanami quirked an eyebrow and looked up at him.

"Why are they sending Genin on a B rank mission?"

"Ah. C rank?" 

She didn't look convinced but shrugged and turned, giving the other two a wave.

"See you on the flip side!"

Their instructor jumped into action and jogged after her, also giving the others a hasty wave before turning his back completely to them.

"Alright! Lets go Jun." Hidan pivoted and began skipping in the other direction, humming to himself.

"H-hey! Are you sure you're gonna be okay doing this mission?"

The platinum glanced at his partner and squinted.

"..Yeah? Why?"

Jun smiled widely and caught up with him, waving his hand dismissively. 

"Nevermind then."

Hidan shrugged his odd comment off and flicked the head guard tied around his forehead, grinning. It still felt weird that he counted as an actual Shinobi now.  
It was a good weird, but weird all the same.  
It was kind of hard to see the symbols carved into it because of his mop of pale hair but he thought it was a good look for him.  
Jun had some kind of kind of special head guard that was made into his sleeveless black shirt.

When they cleared the Genin test the brunette completely shaved his hair into a recruit cut.  
Hidan had to focus hard to prevent himself from laughing when he saw him.  
He was sensitive enough as it was.

"Do you think after this we'll qualify for the Chunin exams?!" The zealot blurted as he ogled at Jun.

Jun opened his mouth and then after a long while closed it again, flexing his fingers around the smoke flare.

"I'm not too sure.. maybe? I don't know if my healing ninjutsu is at that level yet."

"Psh. You'll be fine, it's not like anyone even needs it."

Jun deflated but didn't say anything.

Hidan turned away at tried to make out exactly what was ahead of them.  
The border was far out from the village and along the tree line, eventually moving into the actual forest.  
This was the border along the Hidden Mist.   
He could tell because he couldn't see farther than maybe two metres ahead of himself.  
But he could see the looming silhouettes of trees to his left and slowly getting closer.

"..I feel like such a badass right now. Patrolling the border, doesn't that sound like a Chunin task to you?" 

"Yeah, Okaasan is gonna be really proud."

Hidan glowered at his friend, who shrunk back ever so slightly and was about to open his mouth to apologise before the other replied.

"She barely goes to the shitter anymore. I prolly won't even see her today.  
Doesn't matter, my family are all just a bunch of weaklings."

He seemed oddly unfazed despite what he was saying, shrugging like it was nothing to worry about.

"…Hidan." Jun said quietly.

"Yah?"

"You shouldn't say that. She's just a little down."

The boy scoffed and turned away to stare intensely in the other direction with his arms folded.

"It's not my fault."

"Thats not what I…" Jun sighed and looked the other way as well. 

Soon they were heading into the forest and the mist was reduced to a layer of fog hanging just over the ground. They could see.  
The platinum blonde's smile quickly returned and he pointed to Jun.

"I'm gonna go ahead and see where the trees clear off, you stay put, okay?"

"I don't think-"

"Just stay put!" 

Jun's mouth snapped shut and he huffed through his nose, nodding.  
Hidan gave him a weak smile before breaking into a sprint in the direction the both of them were supposed to be going. Together.  
Jun grumbled incoherently and turned away, sitting down.  
He pulled out a Kunai and drew shapes with it on the ground for almost 15 minutes.  
He was starting to get a little worried about Hidan.  
He was also still pretty annoyed though, so he dismissed any alarming possibilities. 

Then there was scuffling behind him and he turned his head.

"What took you so l-"

"Drop it." A gruff voice growled, pointing his dagger to the Kunai in the child's hand. 

A tall lanky girl dressed in all black and wearing a mist Headguard with a line drawn through it stepped into the small clearing.

"Ah-"

"I said drop it you little shit!"

Jun threw it onto the floor and reached into his pocket for tried to pop the lid off the flare, but his hands were shaking too much.

"Drop that as well, whatever it is."

Jun slammed in into the ground and it erupted, smoke bursting out of the crack he made.  
It shot into the sky, a bright red colour.  
The bandit let out a frustrated yell and grabbed him by the collar, hauling him to his feet.

"Listen you, you're going to empty out all your goddamn pockets and hand me that head guard. Then you're going to tell your little shit friends that you never fucking saw me, capeesh?"

Jun stared at her for a few seconds, his mouth moving without producing any words. Then he gulped thickly and squeezed his eyes shut.

"No."

She threw him onto the ground and ran her finger along the blade of her dagger.

"Whatever,I'll just take it from you."

Jun picked up the Kunai and held it in front of him, shuffling back.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

She froze in place and let out a god awful choking sound.  
At first Jun was confused, and then he saw the sharp tip of a Kunai emerging from her throat and his stomach twisted. Blood spewed from her mouth and she staggered back, trying to shake whoever was on her off. With a push it went almost completely through her throat and blood splattered the ground around the boy.  
Her hands grabbed helplessly at nothing and her eyes rolled back.

The Kunai tore out of the side of her neck with a horrid tearing sound and she collapsed on the ground, reaching out in Jun's direction for a few seconds and spluttering until she fell silent and still.

Hidan stood over her, chest heaving rapidly. His parts of his hands that weren't slick with blood were completely black, and the same went for his face.  
Save for the white skeletal patterns.  
He diverted his attention to Jun, who stared back blankly.

"Are you okay?" He breathed, wiping the blood off his face with his sleeve.

Jun turned to the side and threw up, sobbing and panting.  
Hidan knelt down next to him and waved his hands frantically.

"Hey, hey, it's okay! She's not getting up again."

Jun looked from the girl to his friend and then inhaled sharply, sitting up.

"I have to heal her! I don't know how much damage I can revert but it has to be enough to get her-"

"She's dead Jun!" Hidan interrupted sharply, staring at him like he'd completely lost it.

"You killed her.."

"She was going to hurt you!"

"What happened?!"

A voice sliced through the icy silence that followed and the two boys looked up.  
Hanami was standing a few metres away with their instructor, searching their faces.

Jun opened his mouth to speak but the other two quickly noticed the corpse lying nearby.

"Oh my god." The blonde choked out, turning to gawk at Hidan.

"Did you kill her?!"

Hanami ran over to sit next to Jun and the platinum stumbled to his feet, marching over to their teacher.

"This is your fault!" He yapped, prodding him in the chest with an accusing finger.

"Don't speak to me like that, I'm just doing my job-"

"Like hell you are! What kind of lunatic sends a bunch of kids to check the borders without even knowing how dangerous it is. Somebody DIED here less than two years ago!"

The man pushed him away, moving a trembling hand to gesture towards the dead body.  
Hidan flinched, his jaw hanging open. He hadn't been prepared for such a strong reaction.

"That does NOT look like self defence."

"It was." Jun heckled, blinking as if he'd just woken up.

The instructor fell silent before the situation properly registered and he beckoned the three with his hand, turning away.  
His eyes were big enough to pop right out of their sockets and his brows were arched sharply.

"Wait." The Genin continued, staggering to his feet and kneading his pale hands together.

"What is it, if we can discuss it on the way back than lets do that, okay?"

"We should give her a proper funeral." He replied swiftly, his intent gaze unwavering when met with the instructors flagrant stare.

The blonde nodded to Hanami, who sighed and shuffled over until she was roughly a metre from the corpse.  
She knelt down and pressed her palm against the earth and a sizeable depression formed in the ground.  
It needn't be so large considering the girl herself was barely larger than them.  
Everyone even seemed to take not of this as a spectral silence settled in.

Jun and the instructor moved closer to stand between Hanami and Hidan and soon the quietude was physically unbearable for the zealot.  
The more he looked at the mist bandit the more guileless she appeared to be.   
She looked like she was sleeping.  
As Hanami covered the whole with dirt the instructor finally opened his mouth to say something.

"I'll have to go to the village elders about this." 

Hidan flinched.

"W-what? Why? this stuff used to happen all the time didn't it?" The platinum rejoined brusquely. 

"Exactly. This stuff doesn't happen anymore. Then again theres a reason we avoid the border. We've already had a casualty on the neighbouring one." The Jonin mumbled, sparing a glance behind them.

"What was a worker doing all the way out there anyway." Hanami cut in, quirking an eyebrow.

Jun threw her a warning glance and Hidan stiffened ever so slightly.

"That wasn't a worker. That's classified information though, so lets just get out of here."

He pivoted and marched towards the tree line, Hanami jogging after, looking completely care free.  
Jun stayed where he was for a moment and placed a flower on the top of the grave, before turning to catch up with Hidan.

"Are you okay?" The boy fretted, placing his hand lightly on his team mates arm.

Hidan shrugged it off and mumbled a barely recognisable "I dunno" before speeding up to walk next to the other two.  
Jun frowned.  
——

As he expected, the house was completely devoid of life.  
His breakfast from the morning was still on the table, and wrappers from the food places he usually went to as a substitute for his mothers cooking were all still strewn over the counter.  
The safest bet was that she was upstairs being sad or something.  
Not that Hidan cared, he just wanted to ask her something.

It was then that the door swung open and he started, twirling around.

"…Haha." He croaked, unable to hide the obvious surprise on his face.

 

There was one thing that didn't come as a surprise.  
She didn't look happy to see him.

"Hidan. Your instructor came by this afternoon."

She trundled forward, her eyes fixed on his chest. His eyes followed hers to the necklace hanging around his neck and he cocked his head, giving her a look of confusion and mild concern.  
Her lips twisted into a grimace and she frowned, reaching out to tear it from his neck, scattering beads and even the symbol itself onto the floor.  
She outstretched her fingers to let the components of the pendant all fall from her hand, huffing.  
He dropped to his knees, desperately trying to gather the remains.

"What the hell?!-"

 

"I shouldn't of let you keep this. It's obviously the root of your ISSUES."

"You mean the issues you failed to acknowledge." The Genin replied sardonically, earning him a heated glare.

His mouth snapped shut and he stared at the floor, grinding his teeth together and biting back tears.  
For a long while she stood over him and then without another word, she headed back upstairs.  
Hidan had all but forgotten that he was planning on asking her what his father's real occupation was.

For now his goal was to gather every bit of the pendant and head to his room.

Luckily, all the Jashinistic scriptures he'd acquired where still there.  
He grabbed them all and spread them evenly under his mattress.   
He then sat down on the ground and pulled out his Kunai.  
One of the foundations of Jashinism was to acknowledge the pain and suffering of others.  
Until a few years back he hadn't quite understood the concept of emotional or physical pain but he was starting to get the hang of it.  
And, since he'd failed to stay faithful to this basic rule the fitting thing to do was to punish himself to understand the suffering of the girl he'd killed earlier that day.

He pressed the Kunai against the side of his neck and dragged it along, feeling a sharp sting spread and cool blood trickle down where the blade cut his flesh.  
It didn't hurt that bad, and it was pretty nice, in its own way.   
So he cut all the way along his neck and then dropped the weapon, expelling a deep sigh and resting his head against the bed.

After a few minutes he sat up and tugged off his headband, wrapping it around his neck to cover the wound.  
It looked pretty snazzy, he decided.

He made a mental note to go see Jun tomorrow and get him to fix the pendant.  
And maybe his neck, but if it grew into a scar he'd look rad.

And a weapon for the Chunin exams if he had enough time.

 

The boy tore off his shirt and climbed under the covers, letting his heavy eyelids shut and falling asleep in a matter of seconds.

——

Hidan would've stayed in bed the next morning had he not heard the sound of dishes bumping against each other downstairs. The Genin shot upright and squinted through the harsh sunlight and out his window.   
He didn't bother doing his morning routine and leapt out of bed and straight down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Haha."

The woman turned away from the stove a little and smiled tactfully,using her free hand to beckon him over.  
He took a moment to consider whether or not he even wanted to talk to her today and then huffed, moving closer at a painfully slow pace.  
She was patient, and when her son was close enough she stepped to the side to reveal what she had in her other hand. The woman extended her hand to offer it to him and Hidan gasped loudly, prompting a quiet chortle from her.

In her hands she held a large weapon he was unfamiliar with. The handle was covered inch to inch in bandages and from it stemmed three long sharp blades. The weapon itself was mostly red, the ends of the blades were silver however.  
He snatched it out of her hands and scrutinised the blades.

"What is it?"

"It's called a scythe. Otousan used to use it."

Hidan frowned a little and ran a finger down the bottom blade, taking a bunch of dust with it.  
He looked back up and narrowed his eyes a little.

"Why would Chichi need this?"

She looked unperturbed by his sudden suspicion and she leaned down to flick his forehead, eliciting a grunt from the Genin.

"You know why, don't you?"

Hidan stared vacantly at the doe-eyed woman and then opened his mouth to speak, only to shut it again.

"He had a very dangerous job. We didn't want you getting involved with that kind of stuff. I think you're capable enough now though." She continued, brushing a strand of pale hair behind her ear.

Hidan didn't reply and his troubled expression only seemed to grow so she stood at her full height once more and gave him a quick pat on the head.

"Use it for the Chunin exams."

She turned and traipsed back towards the staircase, shutting the kitchen door behind her.   
Hidan wrapped the roped extending from the end of the scythe around his wrist and slung it over his shoulder.  
His gaze shifted to the table and he was visibly surprised when he saw a plate of ribs by his usual seat.

He smiled. 

——

Jun's house wasn't very far from Hidan's. Considering the size of Yugakure. It was smack bang in the middle of the market. The house itself was more of a large room concealed by a curtain behind his father's blacksmith shop.  
When he arrived Jun was sitting outside of the stall with his face in one hand while he drew nonsensical shapes with the other.

"Jun!"

The brunettes head shot up and he blinked. He didn't look all that glad to see him but he didn't look disappointed either, just wary.  
All scepticism vanished from his face when he saw the weapon the zealot was lugging around.  
The platinum ran up to sit cross-legged next to him and Jun's grey eyes widened like bowls.

"Where did you get that?!"

"It was Chichi's."

"So.. he wasn't a tour guide."

Hidan nodded.

"Thats really cool! You can use it for the Chunin exams!"

"Obviously thats what I'm gonna do." The boy paused to pull his broken necklace from his pocket and hold it out to Jun. "That isn't why I came here though."

Jun took it and held it in both of his hands, smiling.

"Oh, alright. I can make you a new one."

"I don't want a new one. Can you fix it?"

"Y-yeah. Of course!"

Hidan lifted his hand to give him a thumbs up and then titled his head up to stare at the sky. It hadn't been this sunny in a while and it was prompting a whole lot of people out into the streets.   
He watched vacantly as a mother and a father walked past the stall with a small child between them.  
The little boy was holding some sort of sweet treat in his tiny hands and the parents were speaking to each other and laughing.  
Hidan wondered if that was what normal families were like.

"I think I know what your Otosan's real job was." Jun blurted after a few minutes of silence.

"Huh? Really?"

Jun nodded, reaching up to run his hand down the back of his head as if this were taking a significant amount of brain capacity to figure out.

"Yeah. Chichi does most of his missions on the border, and I think most other Shinobi here do. It must be be our villages duty to maintain order as best we can in exchange for a decent living between the larger villages."

Hidan scowled, folding his arms.

"That explains why everyones being so vague about everything. Cause I'm too weak or whatever."

"You're not weak at all! If anyones weak it's me! You have that cool skeleton thing.." The other replied quickly, grinning sheepishly.

"Yeah but I don't even know it is or how to activate it."

"Maybe it's a Kekkei Genkai?"

"Maybe. Haha wouldn't know anything about that."

"You don't need it anyway. You're already way stronger than us!"

"Thanks, Jun."

"BOO!" A voice shrieked, causing Jun to fall onto his side, clinging to the remnants of Hidan's pendant for dear life.  
Hidan sighed and waved his hand lazily.

"Hanabi."

The girl chortled and placed her fists on her hips, stepping out of the shade of the stall and in between the platinum and the brunette.

"Jeez, why such a buzz kill? Can't you be a wussy like Jun more often?"

"Wussy?" Jun echoed, creasing his forehead and sitting up.

Hanabi kneeled down and punched her teammates shoulder, her lips spreading into a wide grin.

"I'm only kidding."

Jun rubbed the point of impact and nodded, forcing a weak smile.  
Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Hidan…" The girl continued, turning to him and resting her hand on her cheek, embarrassed.

"I have a birthday present for you on our next mission, okay? To make up for being such a pain."

The boy fell silent and studied her face for some sort of hint as to what this gift could possibly be. And also to figure out why her cheeks were so red.  
Jun seemed to be aware of something Hidan himself was not and wasn't saying anything, he was twiddling his thumbs and smiling softly to himself in a knowing way.  
He'd never really noticed before but Hanami had blonde streaks in her fiery orange hair, and it was even the same with her eyes, little spots of gold.  
It wasn't like he noticed stuff like that about people, especially not girls.  
HE had to admit she was pretty, he might of liked her in THAT way if he cared about that kind of stuff.  
Too bad he found it gross. After a second he realised he hadn't replied for a while and flinched.

"Um, yeah, alright."

——

The sun was still rising when the three Genin headed into the forest the next searching for a "secret lair" according to Hidan.  
He'd read somewhere in one of the books lying untouched in the villages library.  
He didn't say the lair was actually some sort of Jashinist Church, it wasn't like he didn't know how everyone felt about his interest in the religion after all.

The nearest Church was located somewhere to the north of Yugakure, only a short walk away.   
It was easy to get there, a stream winded through the cluster of trees that blocked out the majority of sunlight.  
An almost unnatural calm lived between the pebbles and dead leaves that littered the earth. The only interruption to the silence was the faint footsteps of children.  
Finally, one of them spoke.

"What the hell are we doing here? It's too early for this."

"It's only been ten minutess Hanami.." Jun mumbled, shrugging.

"Hidan! Where are we going?!" The girl continued, earning her an exasperated look from Jun.

"You'll see."

Hanami rolled her eyes and broke into a jog to head over to the stream and lean down. Hidan watched her with a blank stare until she stood straight and waved.

"Hey, check this-"

She swallowed the rest of her sentence as a black blur shot across her face, a red trail following it. She coughed and blood erupted from her mouth.  
Jun made an incoherent noise and ran over to kneel beside her now crumpled body.  
The platinum reached for the handle of his scythe and sensed movement behind him.  
Without thinking he swung it out and sliced whoever was behind him right through the middle.  
A middle aged woman dressed in a dark red cloak staggered backwards in time to narrowly miss having her guts blended and get away with a graze.  
Her pendant shimmered in a sliver of sunlight and he noticed the symbol dangling from it.  
His stomach churned.

"Hidan!"

In the time it had taken to attempt self defence the three became completely surrounded by people wearing these capes.  
Jun managed to sit Hanami up. She had an ugly wound right across her face and it was pumping out blood. He couldn't even tell if she was still conscious.  
Hidan tried started to move in their direction but there was another fast blur of movement and than a sharp pain in his gut and he keeled over, skidding across the ground and throwing up dust and dead vegetation as he went.  
Before he could even register what was happening a tall figure was standing over him and about to ram their foot into his throat.  
He lifted his scythe over his face and blocked the attack.  
With a guttural yell he pushed forward and they stumbled off of him. He threw the scythe out an it swiped across the attackers legs in a flurry of blood and metal.  
As they fell several other caped figures came forward and Hidan shot to his feet used the extension cord on his handle to cut two of them down before they got close, but the other one easily dodged the blade and lifted their elbow, catching his nose.

Someone was definitely calling after him, but all he heard was sounds with a vague resemblance to words. His head was spinning and he couldn't focus on anything.  
His opponent swiped his feet out from under him and hovered over him, one knee on each side of his waist.  
As they reached into their pocket he punched them in the jaw and split their lip.  
A single drop of blood landed right in his mouth and he grimaced, but at least they were disorientated like him now.  
When they locked eyes again the young man made a breathless noise and scrambled away from him.  
The boy sat up and held a hand against his forehead while he searched the wild mess of colours for his team mates.

Only a few metres away two shapes were on the ground, noticeably smaller than the surrounding ones. The haziness in his had cleared and he scrambled to his feet, running crookedly towards them and falling to his knees.

"Are you okay?" He mumbled, his breath rattling in his chest.

Hanami reached into her pocket and handed him a piece of folded paper.

"Happy.." The paper fell out of her hands before he could even take it and she fell back, her head smacking against the ground.

And suddenly he couldn't see again.

Hidan reached out and picked up the paper, opening it and staring blankly at the drawing on the other side.  
His heart starting pounding and his throat closed up.  
His breathes became erratic and he couldn't stop his hands from shaking.

From somewhere that could of been a thousand miles away he heard someone yelling.  
It wasn't Jun and it couldn't be Hinami.  
He turned his head just a little and found himself face to face with his deceased father.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for two of these chapters in a row I'm tryina get to a certain point in his backstory before I wrap this whole fic up.
> 
>  
> 
> A little side note, I did pick the ages 4 and 14 for a reason.  
> Shi is four in Japanese, and it also means death so it's considered an unlucky number.  
> I thought it'd be neat if It had some relation to that.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

When he woke up it was in a strange bed and a dimly lit, cold room he'd never seen before.  
Across from him there was another bed occupied by someone smaller than him.  
And between them was a small desk.  
On that desk was a drawing.  
It was soaked in blood.  
The boy turned away and ran a hand down his face, taking in deep breathes.

"I'm sorry."

The voice was the only familiar thing he saw or heard, it would even be reassuring, if not for the circumstances.  
The bed dipped with weight as someone sat down on the edge and Hidan squeezed his eyes shut.

"This was all a tragic mistake."

"Am I dead."

The voice fell silent for a while before heaving a sigh and continuing to speak.

"No, you're very much alive. I'm going to take you home as soon as you feel better."

Hidan opened his eyes and sat up, placing his hands together on the bed sheet and forcing himself to look at his face.  
Crimson eyes, pale skin, dark hair. He was either speaking to a clone, or the real deal.  
The man had a bandage across his chest and like Hidan, was wearing a Jashin pendant.  
He blinked and then licked his dry lips, looking him up and down a few dozen times before snapping his mouth shut.

"If I'm not dead.. are you.."

"I'm also alive. Just. Nearly killed me, you did." Akio patted the bandage and smiled wryly.

"Sorry."

"She didn't tell you?" The man continued , creasing his forehead.

"Tell me what."

"Hm." Akio leaned against the wall and folded his arms, staring at the weak lantern placed on the desk. The only source of light in the room. "I left the village to dedicate myself to the Church. I never directly told you about Jashinism, you picked that up yourself. She didn't.. want me to."

"Haha?"

Akio nodded. "She thought it was terrible. But it runs in my blood. Yours. I'm glad you came here, I'm just sorry this is how it went."

Hidan jolted in place. "Where are they?"

Akio didn't reply, he simply hardened his gaze on the lamp.  
Hidan sunk down and pressed his forehead against the bed, digging his teeth into his thumb so he didn't start crying or something stupid like that.

 

"Everyone in this cursed world is nothing but a sacrifice. The sooner you learn this the less it'll hurt."

——

If you were dumb enough to climb on top of one of the higher roofs in Yugakure,  
(or try to) there would be a surprisingly spectacular view waiting for you regardless of the time of day.  
Hidan liked to crawl out of his bedroom window sometimes and climb onto his rooftop while the sun was still rising.  
From his house you could see almost every hot spring in the village and if you strained your eyes you could see long forgotten buildings in the distance that weren't even a part of Yugakure.

On this particular morning he'd grown tired of waiting for his mother to come out of her room and made himself a badly burnt bento box before taking it up with him and dangling his legs off the edge.  
He watched passively as merchants, tourists, and Shinobi passed under him and cracked a small smile.

"Hiidannnn!"

The boy almost fell off the edge with a start but swung himself onto his back for a moment before exhaling and sitting up to peer over the edge and scowl at whoever was shrieking at him.  
Hanami was standing at his front door lugging a huge black backpack and a sheet of paper.  
God knows why, they didn't have any missions today that he knew of.

"What do you want." 

"Can I come up?"

"Sure, I guess."

He turned away again and hugged his knees to his chest, staring vacantly across the village and using his other hand to blindly reach into the bento box and sink his teeth into a scorched chunk of meat on a skewer.  
He was quick to spit that out and push away the entire meal.  
The Genin never realised what a terrible cook he was until this moment.

There was a thud and Hanami hauled herself onto the roof, gasping for air.

"You climbed that fast?"

Her only response was a cheeky giggle.  
Hidan shrugged and picked up his bento box again to force down a vegetable dumpling he made the night before. At least it wasn't burnt right?  
The strawberry blonde sat down next to him and swung her legs off the edge like he had previously been doing, except her sandal slipped right off and landed on the street.

"Whoops. I didn't know Aisan was a cook!"

"She doesn't cook anymore." The boy replied sourly, picking up a steamed broccoli between his index finger and his thumb and sticking his tongue out.

"Oh. I see. So did you make it?"

Hidan nodded.  
He swallowed the vegetable whole and placed the lid back on the lunchbox, disheartened.  
Hanami paused and then reached into her own bag to pull out a small plastic container filled with tissue. She peeled off the lid and offered it to Hidan,  
inside were several small chocolate balls covered with chopped nuts and cocoa.

"I made them this morning, they're fresh."

"Are those all for me?"

"Of course silly take it!"

The zealot grinned and took it out of her hands, scooping up two in his hands and devouring them in seconds.  
"Thank you!"

"I can make you more if you want, I cook most days. It's not like I eat it all myself anyway."

 

She continued to pull out a sketchpad and pencil, laying it out on her lap and taking hold of the pencil. She stared ahead for a few moments before starting to sketch something, Hidan couldn't see what exactly.

"You like to draw."

"Mm. What about you?" She had her eyes glued to the paper now and she looked so into it Hidan thought he should probably just keep quiet.

"I'm not really good at anything." He said around another Chocolate truffle, waving his hand dismissively. 

"Don't give me that. I saw you training with Jun. You're really skilled at hand to hand combat!"

Hidan's gaze drifted down to the sandal lying discarded on the cobblestone street and he frowned.

"Chichi taught me."

"He must of been a really great teacher, can you tell me more about him?"

He blinked and dragged his finger along his chapped lips in a subtly anxious manner.

"Um. He wasn't a lot like me, he was really aloof. Even to me and Haha. He always gave me advice, I dunno how but he seemed to know everything. Chichi seemed kinda interested in Jashinism so." 

He lifted the pendant in his hand and waved it around a little, smiling feebly. His mouth dropped open and for a moment he looked surprised, and then he closed it again. His smile disappeared in a split second.

"I think it's built on Chastity? I know marrying a non-believer is strictly forbidden. Romantic relations aren't prohibited, but they're looked down upon because they take away time and attention you should be giving to Jashinsama.  
And unless your child will grow up to be devoted to the religion having children is also forbidden. I think thats why he was so distant."

He pursed his lips and Hanami looked up.  
They stared at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time before Hanami shrugged and casually resumed her drawing.  
After another few seconds she held it up and pushed it into his hands.  
Hidan eyed it fixedly.  
It was him,legs dangling off the roof, palms down on the edge. The drawing almost seemed to breathe. It was surreal, to say the least.

"He sounds like a jerk." She blurted, as if that was a politically correct thing to say.

"..Yeah."

——

Hidan jolted awake and took in a large gulp of air as if he was submerged in water. His mother was standing over him with a blasé look on her face and his scythe in one hand.

"Chunin exams." She mumbled, offering him the weapon.

The boy sat up and raked a hand through his tangled hair before giving the decision barely a second and then shrugging it off.

"Not going?"

"Mm."

The woman placed it on the end of his bed and gave him a reluctant pat on the head.  
He resisted the urge to lean away and watched her walk to the door and then pause.  
Whatever she was going to do she decided against it and headed downstairs.   
Hidan heard the front door open and then shut and he shuffled over to rest his feet on the cold ground.  
She didn't really go outside much so it was a little odd that she had but he didn't have enough energy to care.

Curiosity killed the cat.  
Or rather, your friend.

He stumbled to his feet and headed towards his window to stare at the kids heading to the Academy field to start the exam.  
He saw Jun walking past the house with some kids he didn't recognise.  
He was wearing a decent amount of bandages but apparently a traumatic experience and permanent injuries weren't enough to keep him from going.  
For Hidan on the other hand, it was more than enough to stifle any pursuit of becoming a fully fledged Shinobi.

He saw the brunette's head turn in his direction and ducked down so he was crouching on the floor with his hands over his head.  
When he looked up again he was gone.  
The platinum shifted his gaze to his scythe and he picked it up, pushing the window open and crawling out to kneel on the roof.

He hopped off and landed on the ground with a loud thud and a sharp pain in his knee that he blatantly ignored.  
The boy got to his feet again and limped in the direction of the forest he was leading the other two through several days ago.  
It could've been a month ago and he wouldn't of noticed.  
He didn't even feel like he existed anymore, which made this much easier to do.

 

There wasn't a single trace of the recent incident, it was like nobody had ever walked here before. Hidan even saw a deer by the stream.  
As expected, it wasn't long before someone stopped him from continuing any further.  
A vaguely familiar girl dressed in the cult's attire.  
A dark red hood concealed almost every inch of her body.  
And of course, there was her pendant.  
He wondered why he hadn't thrown his in the river the moment he got home, even if he knew it was probably because Jun made it.

He didn't bother grabbing his scythe and left it attached to his back.

"You're..Akio's son."

"Uhuh."

"What do you want?"

"Take a wild guess."

She nodded as if she was just understanding this and turned to start walking at the slowest pace humanly possible.  
Hidan followed so he was trailing behind her, which was hard to do because she was walking so damn slowly.  
He kept his eyes glued to the ground and even took a moment to inspect each of his toes individually before the girl rudely interrupted his analysis. 

"You're not going to hurt him, are you?"

"Of course not, idiot."

Only because he couldn't.

"Why do you care anyway?" He added after a long pause.

"You're very important. He'll be surprised you came back, though." She replied, ignoring his question.

Hidan scoffed and decided to stop talking. His eyes started prickling a little so he wiped his sleeve over his eyes and muttered a long line of curses.

"Sorry." The girl continued, her voice barely an undertone.

How she took note of his subtle tears he didn't know, she didn't turn to him once throughout the long, painfully slow walk to the camouflaged entrance.

Finally she came to a stop and held up her hand to perform some kind of hand seal and the boulder jammed into the cave shifted back to reveal a stone door covered in moss and cobwebs.  
The door itself shifted to the left and a narrow hallway leading to what looked like a gothic cathedral was right at the end.  
Several rooms were on either side of the hall.  
Some of them had the door wide open and a disturbing chorus of chants and other…noises were drifting across the hall, delivering themselves to the boys ears.

The girl turned to him and pulled her hood off.  
Frankly, she didn't look like the kind of person to join a cult.  
She looked older than Hidan, but too young to be spending her life here. Her dark eyes were weary and her smile seemed pretty genuine.  
It made his skin crawl.

"Don't be worried or anything, I'll take you straight to him."

That gave him all the reason to worry but something compelled him not to brush aside her attempt to be welcoming.

The turned again and stalked down the hall right down to the cathedral.  
The closer they got, the easier it was to make out the figure slumped at the back of the room, hovering over another figure lying on the floor.

The hood was pulled over than person's face but he could hear his gruff voice loud and clear, praying.

It took everything in him not to take advantage of his distraction and maybe try and break his stupid neck.  
The girl didn't interrupt either, she just watched. It took a while for Hidan to realise what the oddity here was. Somehow it wasn't the corpse sprawled out there for all to see.  
There was a spear right through his chest and out the other end, and he had his grimy hands tight around it to keep it still.

He unconsciously reached up to rest a hand over his chest and frowned.  
Some naive part of him hoped maybe Akio was going to die, but the girl was so calm that probably wasn't it.  
THEN he saw the skeletal patterns on his face peaking out from the hood.

"You okay?" She chirped, quirking an eyebrow.

"What is he doing?"

"You're a smart boy. I don't need to tell you that." She disclosed, folding her arms over her chest.

"Isn't he bleeding out? Why is he just sitting there!"

She sat down on one of the seats and patted the spot next to her. Hidan sat on the edge of the seat but kept his eyes glued to Akio, waiting for him to turn around.

"It would be better if he explained this to you. But Akiokun is doing something very important. Especially now that everyone knows about you."

"Yeah? Whys that?"

"Having children is considered a minor sin for Jashinists. Even if it's only small, it's still a big deal. IF you have a child they're supposed to be raised into the cult and you weren't. Akiokun is in constant debt to Jashinsama for failing to raise you properly. If he doesn't continue to offer sacrifices, he will be stripped of his immortality and die a slow painful death alone. Most people say in suffocating darkness deep underground."

She paused to brush her hair behind her ear and then pointed to Hidan, that stupid smile still on her face.

"That is your family curse. Your bloodline was chosen as his special servants. You are the only ones granted the freedom of baring children, if only for the sake of religion. You can only awaken the Jutsu and the immortality if you are made to kill someone else as sacrifice before the age of 5.   
I've seen you use it, so even if he failed as a parent, he did one thing right."

The platinum turned to stare at her almost angrily. 

"I never killed anyone."

"Are you sure."

Hidan didn't give her reply any thought because he did in fact remember something undeniably disturbing and bloody from his early childhood. He always thought it was a dream though. It probably was, what did she know about anything?

"You're back." Akio's voice rang in his ears like nails against a chalk board and Hidan's head whipped up. 

He stared blankly at the white patterns against black skin as they gradually faded into his regular skin tone.  
Akio offered a crooked smile and Hidan scoffed, jumping to his feet and ignoring the blood covering every inch of his attire and the puncture wound in his chest.

"You didn't explain anything earlier. Thats the only reason I came."

"Akiokun, you look tired. Are you okay?" The girl interrupted from where she remained seated, tracing where her eye bags might be if she had any to emphasise how tired he looked.

"Did you make me kill someone?!" Hidan snapped, adding a bit of extra volume thanks to the realisation that he DID look tired and he wanted to make the reunion as unpleasant as possible for him.

Akio fixed him with a confused look and ran a hand down his cloak perfunctorily.

"I'm fine Hikaru."

 

Hidan snorted and grabbed his scythe,taking a swing at his father.  
Akio grabbed the blade with one hand and held it in place with a surprising amount of strength.  
He looked bored.

"You're too careless with that. You're small and weak. You don't wield it with any skill whatsoever. Don't be so rash."

"Screw you!"

Akio huffed and let go of the scythe. Hidan dropped it to the ground in response, officially giving up.

"What do you want."

"Don't act so clueless!"

" I thought you wanted to be a part of this, but now you're failing to meet the basic requirements. Murder and sacrificial killing are two different things, Hidan. Isn't that right, Hikaru."

"Mm." She nodded and watched him stalk off again towards the sort of stage at the back of the cathedral where the body still lay, her expression unreadable to Hidan.

"It was my older brother." She blurted when he was back where he'd been before.

"Huh?"

"He was the sacrifice." She clarified, smiling warmly as if she were explaining something to a group of children.

"..Fuck. I'm sorry."

"It was years ago, and it isn't like these things are done against their will.  
Your family are burdened with the task of making sacrifices, and my family has always been the offering."

Hidan sat down again and stared at Akio just standing over the body.   
If he didn't know any better he'd think he was crying or something.

"Thats messed up."

"We're rewarded in the afterlife for our devotion, so it doesn't matter what happens in this life."

"Huh. Not even if people are hurt?"

"Now you're getting it. If you think of it like sending them to their rightful judgement it makes it easier. Thats what Akiokun always says."

 

For some reason he thought about Hinami when she said this, even if she was more than "hurt" and even if what happened to her had nothing to do with sacrifice.  
Either way, it did make it easier to think about.

"I'm ready to go home now." He mumbled, raking a hand through his hair.

"Are you gonna come back?"

"Tomorrow maybe."

Hikaru stood up slowly and eventually tore her eyes away from Akio to address the boy.  
She tied her fingers together as if they were rope and exhaled slowly, suddenly losing her unperturbed demeanour. 

"You can leave with me. You don't have to stay here." Hidan said almost immediately, assuming she was upset by the circle of slaughter she and now Hidan were caught in. 

She burst out laughing to his surprise and embarrassment, holding a hand over her mouth.

"You're a very kind boy, but I'm happy here."

——

 

The walk home was slower than the walk away from home, despite the distance being roughly the same.  
Hidan's feet went against him, dragging across the ground as if they were heavier than stone.  
By the time he'd arrived on his street back in Yugakure the clouds were drizzling icy cold rain against his small figure.  
he looked down at his hand as a droplet landed on his porcelain skin and flexed his fingers, staring blankly like he hadn't realised he had a hand. 

Something felt off.   
It was familiar, but only from several years ago.  
Some sort of emptiness.  
If had to guess, he was missing his friends.

"Hidan?"

His mothers voice jolted him out of his depressing trance and he looked up to see her standing roughly a metre away with a large bag strapped to her back and filled with belongings.  
Obviously, she was leaving to God knows where.

"Where are you going?" He replied, shaking the water off his hand and wiping it down his shirt.

He felt a pain in his chest after speaking the words. In fact, he wasn't sure why he was asking. He knew.

"I'm…I'm going to be out of the village for a while. I'm going to buy some merchandise from the Land of fire. I'd like to see how the living there is.  
Would you like to go there Hidan?"

"No."

Ai visibly deflated and shuffled her feet a little.

"Don't you think it's better than this…place? The trip is a little risky, I'm afraid. I understand if you're scared." She continued, forcing a tight smile.

"Lets talk about it when you get back Haha."

Which she wasn't.  
There was a long moment where Ai said nothing and Hidan tried to wrap his head   
around how to handle his mother dumping him without having a heart attack.  
He felt like he was going to puke but the least he could do was wait for her to be out sight, right?

"Can I hug you. Just once." Ai blurted, stretching her arms out.

Hidan just frowned in response and she dropped them to her sides again, chewing her lip anxiously.

"I'll see you soon, okay buddy?"

Her hand hovered over his head for a moment and then she ran it through his hair like she used to when he was falling asleep or when she was reading him a story while his father was out on what he now knew was a mission. He didn't even have time to enjoy the contact before she lifted her hand and briskly started walking towards the gate.  
He turned to watch her leave, frozen in place.

He knew what he was supposed to do here, chase after he and make a big deal out of nothing.  
It was nothing, after all.  
It happened to people all the time.  
She wasn't coming back, he knew that. Whether it became to dangerous to turn back or she just decided to spend what remained of her youth away from her freak show of a family.

It was all his father's fault.   
He wasn't even mad at her for lying about his death.  
Maybe it would've been better if he'd never discovered the truth, and maybe she wouldn't be leaving.

In his impossibly weakened state, the only farewell he could muster was a breathless "bye".


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry ya'll but I've lost motivation to continue this fic for now, I'll hopefully pick this back up in a few months, but it'll happen eventually :'D

Hopefully nobody was waiting on anything, but I'm hassling lots of personal and school things rn


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